One Of Them: Book 1 in the TORN series
by kgkah123
Summary: Julia Vang, 17 year old survivor of a boat crash. She's very LOST. And very pregnant. And everyone she's ever loved is dead. Bouncing back and forth between captives, she learns what it really means to be TORN.
1. An Unexpected Friendship

**This is the first book in a trilogy, called One of Them. It is centered around the Others, because I love them so much. Don't worry, Julia does meet up with the Oceanic survivors later in the story. Please don't "hate" on it, but I love respectful critisizm. **

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><p><strong>Table of Contents<strong>

1. An Unexpected Friendship

2. Bound Woman

3. The Trade

4. A Pact

5. Petals Of Flame

6. Niches and Bumps

7. The Shadow's Heart

8. The Life and Lies of Julia Vang

9. Lillian Matthew Logan

10. Crystal Clear

11. My Betrayal

12. Unwilling Guardian

13. Why

14. Captured Spirits

15. Jacob

16. Hot Doors

17. Exile

18. Home Sweet Home

19. The Reuniting

20. Daniel Faraday

21. The Left Choice

22. Flashes Before Your Eyes

23. The Dharma Initiative

24. The Beginning of the End

25. A New Friend

26. The End

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><p>CHAPTER ONE, BOOK 1: AN UNEXPECTED FRIENDSHIP<p>

The first thing I noticed was the breeze. It wasn't the strong, roaring wind from the boat, but calm, cool, and gentle. My blue eyes snapped open to trees towering above my head. I slowly stood up, stumbling under my weight, and put two hands on my belly to steady myself. I was dazed...and where was Matt? I shook my head to clear the fog that threatened to overwhelm me. I got unsteadily to my feet and, stumbling, I tried to find my way back to the boat. How did we get from the middle of the ocean to here? All I remembered was Matt and I getting on a boat and it taking off. Images flashed through my mind, dark skies, a storm...a four-toed foot in the middle of nowhere? I shook my head harder. It must be the hormones. I must be hallucinating. I reached back to scratch my head and felt something...wet? I pulled back my hand and almost got sick. It was _blood_. I felt light-headed...I stumbled and fell to the ground, but jumped almost four feet into the air when a shot rang out by my knee. Staggering, I got to my feet and jumbledly raced in the direction opposite the blast. I didn't get far however, before my vision began to blur and I seemed to drown in darkness.

When light finally reached my vision I felt like I was emerging from a deep pool. I gasped for breath, trying to rub my aching forehead, but I couldn't move. I was strapped onto some kind of metal bed, with wires attached to my forehead, chest, fingers, and toes. A woman was standing over something, asking me questions in a language I didn't understand.

"H..Hello?" I asked warily.

"English?" The woman said in an accent that was thick with overlaid French. "You are one of them?" It was not a question, but a prodding statement.

"One of...what?" I asked, blinking hard. A whirring sound started.

"Do not lie to me! Where is she? Where is Alex?" I suddenly got very nervous.

"Look, lady, I just crashed here on a boat. I don't know who Alex is or whoever these "them" are, but if you'd let me up I can explain!"

"Stop lying!" She roared, and flipped a switch. Jolts of electricity shot through my body, wrenching my limbs with pain and making me so stunned I couldn't move.

"_Stop!_" I screamed, cried, pleaded.

"Where is she!" She roared.

"I don't know!" Tears were rolling down my cheeks. She flipped it again. I don't think I could take another one.

"Stop! Please, please stop! I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant!" This time her hand faltered on the switch. She came up to me and stared me in the eye, her face inches from mine.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I was sobbing now, her face blurred by my tears.

"I'm six months pregnant. I crashed here with my boyfriend, Matthew Logan." She raised her eyebrows.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I shook my head.

"I don't know. I think it's a boy." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Please, just don't hurt my baby." I whispered. She sighed, and closed her eyes, tears racing down her cheeks to cut thin, waving lines in her dirt-caked face.

"I have been on this island for almost sixteen years." she said solemnly. "I was eight months pregnant. There were other people living on this island. We were together for one week, my baby and I. Alex, was her name. Then they came in the night, and they took her." Fear made my heart seem like it would explode out of my chest.

"W-Will they t-take mine too?" I asked, my voice quivering. I don't know what I would do if I lost my baby. I wasn't even sure if it was still alive after all that. She released me from my straps and I placed my hands over my stomach protectively. I sat up quickly, and moaned with pain at my aching limbs and the oddly freshly-bandaged wound on the back of my head. I guess she didn't need me bleeding to death. She didn't answer my question, just looked at me sadly. "Thank you." I said quietly, before swinging my legs over the side of the table, and slowly lowering myself to the ground. She looked at her feet.

"My name is Danielle. Danielle Rousseau." She nodded at me.

"Julia Vang, but you can call me Julie," I said, nodding back at her in return. Our awkward greeting didn't last long. She smiled at me, a sad smile, speaking of years of torturous loneliness. Something sparked in me. I then made a promise to myself that I wouldn't leave her. Not willingly, anyway. She needed me. And in this scary place, where guidance was not only accepted, but embraced, I need her, too.

A flash of white seared my vision between the branches of the bush I was crouched in. Danielle put one finger to her lips and aimed the rifle into the bush and pulled the trigger. A shot rang out, loud and clear, scattering the birds in every direction.

"Did you get it?" I asked excitedly. She hurried over and picked up a small rabbit, dead with a clean wound in it's neck. "I've been doing this for 16 years, Julia. I know what I'm doing." Before she could loop it to her belt to carry it back to the shelter with the rest, a loud noise rang out. It sounded like a mixture of a machine and some kind of freakish dinosaur, and it hurt my eardrums. Whatever it was, it sounded huge.

"What was that?" I asked, turning to Danielle for an explanation, but she was shaking, her eyes huge. She dropped the rabbit and began to back up. "What is it, Danielle?" I took a step toward her and the tree to my right, which was thicker than me and Danielle together and taller than I could see the top of, was ripped right out of the ground by it's roots, flying into the air, and landed some yards away. The noise grew louder. Danielle spun around and raced back towards the camp at lightning speed. I never knew she could run that fast, but I tried to keep up best I could. Panting, I stopped at a tree to lean against. Funny, usually I can run very far. I was even on the cross-country team at my school. _It must be the pregnancy_, I thought again. The sounds had died away into the background, but even so, Danielle was nowhere in sight. "Danielle?" I cried, but there was no answer. "Danielle!" I cupped my hands and shouted into them. No reply. I wondered if I could make it back to the shelter on my own. I stumbled through the jungle for several hours, getting numerous cuts and scrapes on my arms and face from the trees. I finally stumbled upon the small clearing where our shelter lay. It was hidden by the forest itself, literally underground. I felt with my hands for the secret entrance and pulled up the latch, swinging down into our little hideaway. When I got down, her back was to me, and she was taking a screwdriver to a small wooden box with a man and a woman inside.

"It was a gift from my lover," she said. "It hasn't worked for a long time." I shook my head. What was wrong with this crazy woman? Didn't she just see the thing that tried to kill me? "It used to comfort me when that thing came around. I—and my people that came here with me—called it the monster. Don't worry. We're safe here," she added, when she saw the look on my face. She stood up and repositioned her pack. "We better go back for the rabbit, if there's anything left of it. The monster might have taken it. After that, we need to go to the Black Rock to get some dynamite. I'm going to lay traps around the perimeter of the shelter." I cocked my head.

"The Black Rock?" I asked confusedly.

"An old slaving vessel. It carried crates, filled with dynamite. I use it once in a while." I stared at her in awe. I'd heard about that ship! It had gone missing, never to be heard from again. I shivered. Did that mean I'd never be rescued?

"This...is the Black Rock." She said, gesturing towards a huge, towering ship that looked like an old-time y pirate ship out of the movies. I gaped in awe.

"Are we actually going in there?" I asked. The thought of going into that creepy, rotting, broken down ship that probably had dead bodies scared the crap out of me. I shuddered.

"I am. But you can stay out here, if you wish." She gave me a small smile. With a jolt I realized I was close to the same age as her daughter. No wonder she had taken a liking to me. I swallowed hard, placing one hand on top of my belly.

"N-No...no, I'll come with you." I took a deep breath to summon enough courage to take another step forward. Dead bodies scared me more than almost anything else. That, and spiders. And the unknown. Death, darkness, strangers. Stuff like that. I shook my head hard. If I didn't think about it, I wouldn't be afraid. We began making our way towards the ship.

"So what will it's name be?" She asked, looking down at the ground while she walked. I smiled.

"Matthew, if it's a boy," I said. "That's the name of my boyfriend. Matthew," I stopped suddenly. "We were going to get married." I said, and I stopped to sit on the ground, tears coming out of my eyes in floods no matter how much I tried to stop them. She sat down next to me and put her hand on my back.

"Don't worry," she said. "I'm sure he's probably still here, somewhere, surviving just like you. He probably thinks you're dead too," she smiled. "It's only a matter of time before you find each other." I hiccuped.

"Sure. But there's only one you," I said, looking at her sadly. "And I'm with you." She looked down.

"Yes, well, I lived on my own for quite a while, with no experience when I started. I learned as I went. I'm sure he's doing just fine." She paused for a moment. "What if it's a girl?" I looked at her puzzled for a moment, then gave a small laugh. I looked at her seriously, smiling.

"It's not a girl." She sighed, and stood up.

"That's what my lover thought too." She reached out a hand, and I took it, and she helped me up.

"Let's get going then," I said, eager to change the subject. Every step we took towards the huge boat made everything seem darker. It wasn't long before we were inside the boat. I had to swallow several times to keep down the bile that rose in my throat. I was going to throw up, I just new it. The whole structure had a rotten, moldy smell. Skeletons hung by their wrists in chains. I gagged. Danielle gave me a look.

"Yes, that was my first reaction too." She nodded towards the back. Vines and other plant-like material was going among the brittle wood, and one step I took sent the whole area around my foot cracking into splinters. I recoiled, and Danielle put a comforting hand on my arm. I shivered uncontrollably. We soon came upon some crates. She slowly lifted the lid of one, revealing dozens of sticks of rusty red dynamite. I gave a small cry. "Careful," she said, lifting one out by a finger on each hand. "They are unstable." she set it in the palm of my hand. I almost dropped it. Why would she freaking give it to me? I bit back a retort, and backed dutifully out of the ship, glad to be in the fresh air. I took a deep breath, eager to cleanse my lungs of that foul air. She emerged slowly, seven sticks of dynamite wrapped in her shirt. She jerked her head in the direction of the shelter. When she caught up to me, I turned to ask her a question.

"What did you say these were for again?" I asked.

"I'll explain when we get there." She cleared a throng of ferns with one arm, and our shelter lay in the small clearing, carefully hidden. She began to set them in the crooks of trees, attaching a thin wire on one end of each stick and tying the other to a tree across it.

"What are you doing?" I cried. She was setting a trip wire.

"If anyone comes, they will trip over it and set it off. They will not find our shelter." _Our_ shelter. She said _our_ _shelter_. I felt happiness, but it still didn't drive away my fears.

"What if we set it off ourselves?" I asked, still struggling with this matter.

"We won't," she said, with a wry smile. "We're the only ones who know where it is."

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><p><strong>Not sure if I completely love where this ended, but hopefully i can update soon. ;) please R&amp;R! <strong>


	2. Bound Woman

CHAPTER TWO: BOUND WOMAN

I laid the carcass of the small, soft creature on the black surface, shuddering. Why did she make me do all the jobs around the things I hate or am afraid of? As I said, I hate dead bodies. I began my slow, tedious, disgusting practice of skinny the small, bony rabbit. My nose wrinkled at the horrible smell.

"I'll bet you're glad you don't have to do this yet," I sat glumly. I had picked up the habit of talking to my baby, even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I smiled wryly. "I'll bet you're having a good laugh at me right now. Ugh!" I had accidentally squeezed...something...in the rabbit, because what I just squeezed exploded in my hand and all over my face and shirt. I flipped backwards, and landed on my back in the ferns. I groaned. "I just won the bet," I grumbled.

"Julia!" I heard my name being called, and I abruptly sat up straight. "Julia, come quick!" I jumped to my feet and raced toward the shelter where Danielle's voice was coming from. I had to stop halfway and lean over, my hands on my knees, a stitch in my side.

"What's wrong?" I called, my limbs shaky, and tried to stand up straight. I stretched.

"Come quickly!" I wondered what had happened. Had someone triggered the bomb? Was she injured? Did the monster come back? I summoned up all the strength I had in my limbs and flew as fast as I could across the jungle, which, unfortunately, wasn't very fast. My limbs felt leaden, and I felt like I couldn't take one more staggering step. But I pressed on, because I couldn't bear the thought that something had possibly happened to Danielle. She was my only friend, and I don't think I could survive being alone for even one year. I don't see how she could have made it 16. No wonder she was so lonely. I burst through the trees, breathing hard and feeling like I could collapse. When I saw the sight before me, I reeled backwards.

It was Matt. He was bleeding heavily on one side, his nose was crunched to his face, like it was broken. Blood ran in ribbons from his head, all down his face. Blood poured from his mouth. He twitched, and looked like he was mouthing something. Danielle looked down sadly at him as she crouched over him. She looked up at me when she heard me.

"This is your boyfriend?" She asked. I suddenly grew very angry. I ran up to her and, grabbing her arms, I pinned her against a tree.

"You wanna tell me how he got like this?" I asked through gritted teeth. She looked like I'd backhanded her.

"He was like this when I found him," she said, terror coursing through her eyes. "The monster. The monster found him. It found my people too, and left one of them like this." My heart skipped a beat. The monster. I pressed a hand over my eyes, shaking, and kneeled down before Matt. I stroked his hair.

"Matthew. Oh, Matthew. I'm so so sorry." I said to him shakily. His eyes fluttered and he tried to reach up a hand to touch my hair, but it fell back down onto his chest. I saw something drip onto his chest, and confused, I touched my face. I hadn't realized I was crying, but when I did, tears came out in uncontrollable spurts. I laid my head on his chest, stroking his hair, and stayed there with him even after the vibrations pulsing through his body with each beat of his heart stopped, and he lay utterly still. For a moment I was confused as to why his breath no longer rattled my hair. By that time I didn't have any tears left in me, so I just laid with my head on his chest, stroking his hair. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I briefly looked up. The sky was orange. How long had I been sitting here? It felt like years. I shakily stood up to face Danielle. Her eyes were sad, pitying almost.

"We need to bury him," she said softly. I wiped the wetness off my cheeks with the back of my hand. Part of me wanted to beg her to not take him away, but part of me knew I had to let him go, so I just stepped back and let her pick him up and carry him over the trip lines and out of sight. I sat down, not caring that rocks stabbed into me. I didn't know what to do. I just sat and buried my face in my arms, relishing in the smell of what used to be. Before I had to fight to survive. My jacket still smelled like Matt. That brought on another fresh wave of tears, washing away all traces of Matt's scent. I gave a little cry, and tried to wipe the tears out of the sleeve, but it was fruitless. She suddenly emerged from the trees, Matt's body missing from the picture. Instead, Danielle's hands were caked with dirt. She sat down next to me, her back up against the same tree. "It's been a long time since I had to dig a grave." she said quietly. I didn't say anything, just stared into the distance, remembering the soft touch of his hand, his laugh, the way the skin around his eyes used to crinkle when he smiled. "I know how you feel." she looked at me sadly. "My lover met the same fate." I turned away from her, anger forcing me to dig my nails into the palms of my hands until they drew blood. I really wanted to hurt her. She sighed, and stood up. "If you ever want to talk, I am here," she said, and disappeared into the shelter, leaving me all alone with my thoughts. If I ever got off this island, I don't think I would be able to raise this baby by myself. I shook my head to clear the thought. I wanted this baby. Didn't I? Of course I did. Every mother wants their baby, but I also want the best for mine. Is keeping it the best thing to do? Of course, I'd have to get off this godforsaken island first. I couldn't tell how long I sat there, just that the sky was turning orange and the first of the stars was appearing. Danielle appeared with a small rabbit she'd recently skinned, and set it over the fire to cook. I sat next to her, hugging myself, and trying to stay close to the warmth of the fire.

"When I get home, I'm going to give up my baby," I said, staring into the depths of the fire. She whipped around in shock.

"Do you know how selfish that sounds? You have the chance to be with your child. Mine was taken from me before she could even crawl. You should consider yourself lucky," she spat. I just shook my head, tears rolling down my cheeks as she continued. "Even if you give up this baby, you'll always have to live with the thought that you'll never see what he'll become. You can't think everything will be fine once you get rid of him. You'll always live with the wonder of what could have been. Once you have a baby, there's no going back. You're officially a bound woman. Even if you terminate the pregnancy, you will always wonder." I sat thoughtfully for a moment.

"I just want what's best for my baby." I looked up at the stars. "If you love something, you set it free." I said. I didn't know at that moment whether I was talking about the baby, or Matt. But those words stirred memories in me, and no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't stop them from flooding through my mind. Not wanting her to see me cry again, I turned and disappeared inside the shelter.

The spear went through it's heart, and I didn't even look twice before taking up my catch and hooking it to my belt. Usually I hated killing animals. What happened to me? Danielle fashioned me this spear as a sort of make-up present. We're on okay terms now. But at the moment, being alone in the jungle killing things is just where I want to be. With a grunt, I heaved the weapon through the trees, watching with satisfaction as the head buried itself in the small creature's leg. I lifted the baby bunny by it's tail, watched it struggle, and relished at the sound when I twisted it's neck between my hands. Grief hit me like a wave. What had I become? I put a hand on my belly.

"I hope you don't turn out like me." I told him. "I hope you don't know what I'm doing now. What I've become." A bitter hotness appeared behind my eyes. I bit my lip so hard it drew blood. I wiped it off on my sleeve, but the stinging feeling in my head stopped. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I turned sharply when I heard voices. I strung the measly catch to my belt and trudged toward the shelter, picking off two birds and a squirrel as I went. I felt loaded down with all the extra weight. I wonder if this is what it will feel like when my belly gets bigger? It can't be long now. I already see a bump. The voices got louder and more harsh the closer I got to the shelter. I picked up my speed, but I really couldn't move too fast with all the extra weight on me. I though about dropping some catches. What if Danielle needs help? But I knew we couldn't waste any food anymore. When I got to the shelter, Danielle was shouting at a man who was at the treeline. Surprise wracked my body. Was he one of the others? Suddenly Danielle pulled out a rifle and pointed it at his head. I sucked in a breath, but didn't move. Why should I care if she killed him? It was his own fault for messing with her. I dug my heels into the dirt. The man looked no older than thirty, very tall with short dark hair and dark eyes. He held up his hands in surrender before turning to disappear into the jungle. Danielle slowly lowered the gun, but she didn't stop looking at the place where the man disappeared, as if she expected him to come bursting right back out of the trees.

"I think he's gone," I called to her, and she whipped around, the fear evident in her eyes.

"Did you hear what he said?" she asked. I shook my head.

"You wanna tell me what he said?" amusement lit up her face, and her eyes were drawn to my belt.

"Ah! I suppose we'll eat well tonight. How did you manage to catch so many?" she asked, curiosity mingling in her eyes. I wasn't about to give up my secret.

"Oh...I guess I'm just patient." I said casually, with a wave of my hand. "No matter. I guess I was also pretty lucky today. It seemed like the critters were just jumping into my hands, begging to be caught." She seemed relieved that I didn't bring up the man again, although I was still curious. But I trusted her. She was like a surrogate mother to me on this island. If she didn't want to tell me, that was her business. I wasn't about to pry. She was my friend. She laughed lightly, waving me over with her hand.

"Well, because you did so much work catching all of them, I'll do all the skinning myself. Meanwhile," she gestured to the 2 now empty tubs and flasks that she used to have water for bathing, cooking, and drinking. "They need to be refilled down at the stream. An easy enough job, and I suspect you need the day off." I was thrilled. Fetching water was one of my favorite jobs, the stream peaceful and melodic, and it kept my mind off killing things. I decided to carry one tub at a time, and then do the flasks together. I carried the tub down to the stream bed and set under one of the small waterfalls that flowed off the rocks, then leaned back against a big rock to wait, my bare toes under the water. The creek was so peaceful, a good place to get lost in my thoughts. Who was that man? And what did he want with Danielle? I wondered why she didn't shoot him, or why she didn't torture him for Alex's whereabouts like she did met. I sat up quite suddenly. I was suddenly very suspicious. Why _didn't_ she ask him about Alex? It seemed that, before the gun, she was on quite friendly terms with him. What if it was all an act? I was jerked out of this daydream when I realized the tun was overflowing. I quickly got to it and dumped the excess water into the stream, and, struggling with the tub, I began to carry it up the hill. This slight distraction from my thoughts was enough. Why would Danielle want to hurt me? We're friends. She wouldn't do anything like that. I shook my head hard. I was just being paranoid. I was sure that, whatever was going on between the man and Danielle, it had nothing to do with me. She gave me a small smile as I emerged in the clearing with the full tub and grabbed the other one, making my way back towards the creek. _Of course, _I thought, scolding myself for thinking anything of the sort about Danielle. She's been nothing but kind to me. I'm just being paranoid, selfish and ungrateful. When I get back, I should thank her. She's sacrificed so much for me. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to thank her for all that she's done for me. Life was good here. What was there to worry about except whether or not we have squirrel or rabbit for dinner? I set the next tub under the waterfall and leaned back against a log to wait, my toes trailing in the water as I watched the trickling drops slowly fill up the tub.


	3. The Trade

**Yes, I did sort of base my character off myself, except I changed a few things. She has the same fears and pet names that I do, and we both love bugs and want to be authors. ;) my mother is not dead and her name is not Juliet. Glad we have that cleared up, and now we can talk about the story. I was really excited about this chapter-I rarely make it to my third chapter in fanfictions, and this one was probably the most exciting, if not rushed. I was really glad with how this turned out. (Yes, Julia is named after her mother).**

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><p>CHAPTER THREE: THE TRADE<p>

He came again at sunrise. Rubbing whatever sleep was there out of my eyes, I cautiously made my way out of the shelter. Getting up early was no problem for me anymore, as I had to do so quite a bit now that I have to actually work to survive. I yawned and stretched my arms above my head, but tried not to make too much noise. The sun was just barely coming over the horizon. The same man, his eyes dark, was sitting across the fire from Danielle. Suspicion and worry clutched my heart with cold claws. There was no mistaking the feeling of comfort—tense, wary comfort, but comfort none the less—between Danielle and the man. I watched, fearful they should see me, from the shadows of the shelter. When the sun was fully up but still low, the man left. I paced out of the shelter, my hands in my graying jacket's pockets.

"So, who was that?" I tried to ask casually, but even I could sense the tension in my voice. Her whole body went rigid and I saw her draw a sharp breath, her fists clench.

"A friend." she said softly. I couldn't help the confusion that etched at the corners of my mind, but I decided that I at least owed it to her to drop the subject a bit. It was none of my business—why pry? Instead, I tried to sound optimistic, and offered to go wash the dirty clothes instead. They were piling up, and Danielle hated that job. I'm sure she'd appreciate me helping, and I needed some alone time, away from the fear and suspicion and the guilt of killing things. The relief in her body was evident, especially in the way she relaxed. She let out a small puff of air and drew her hand through her hair.

"Yes, thank you," she said, smiling. On my way past her, she stopped me with a hand on her shoulder. "It's not what you think," she said, looking at me with concern. "You've been my only friend on this island. For that I have to thank you. You've done so much for me, sacrificed so much. Whatever happens, Julia, I'll always be here for you when you need me." Confusion wracked my mind, but I tried my best to look happy about this and smiled.

"Th-Thank you," I said. "I'll always be here for you when you need me, too," I said. She gave me a small, sad smile. I shook my head as I turned away. What was that all about?

As I sat at the filthy tub of water I'd gathered the day before, a pile of smelly clothes before me, it hit me. What Danielle said to me a moment ago didn't sound like some sort of friendship bond...it sounded like something you said to someone before they got on a plane to go halfway around the world and wasn't planning on coming back. A rush of fear slammed through my body and I staggered to my feet. Was Danielle going to kill herself? I tried to catch my breath, to stop the panic from flooding my mind. Just breath, Julie. You can get back in time...I ran as fast as I could back to the shelter, abandoning the clothes altogether. But when I got back to the shelter, Danielle wasn't there, but the man was. His hair was neatly trimmed and combed. Did they have hairbrushes and mirrors...and maybe hot showers? Part of me longed to follow him home, but I couldn't abandon Danielle. He was sitting on a log, looking right at me, as if he had expected me to come bursting through the trees. He was gazing at me intently.

"Hello, Julia," he said softly. I raised my eyebrows.

"Julie," I corrected him. Only Matthew, my parents, and Danielle called me Julia. He looked confused for a moment. I cleared my throat, realizing I'd been talking very quietly, and repeated myself. "It's Julie. My name is Julie." He looked quite amused at this.

"Well, _Julie"_-he put great emphasis on my name- "Is it true that you're pregnant?" Shock rippled through me. How much had Danielle told him? Betrayal coursed through my veins, and I dug my nails into the palm on my hand.

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. "Seven months now." He raised his hands in surrender.

"Whoa. No need to get angry. I'm just curious." He stood up and held out his hand. "Richard Alpert." I didn't take it, just folded my arms warily across my chest. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. I didn't trust him one bit. "Okay then, see, I don't have to be nice to you. I'm only trying for your sake. I honestly don't care. Okay? Just come with me, and no one gets hurt." I let out an exasperated huff.

_"Sure_ no one gets hurt. That's what kidnappers say before they rape you." I said, taking a step back. "There's no way I'm risking me and my son's lives by going with you. How stupid do you think I am?" I spat. He laughed, shaking his head.

"Well, it would be a hell of a lot stupider _not_ to come with me without a struggle, because I don't want to hurt you. But if it comes to that, I will." I shook my head defiantly, digging my heels into the ground. He sighed deeply, and with a quick, unpreventable motion, he flicked a small sharp needle-like thing at me and it hit me right in the neck. I pulled it out. A dart. I felt something flooding through my veins, moving through my body, and with a small cry, I felt myself growing weaker, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I could feel my limbs growing leaden, and blackness overtook my vision.

The first thing I noticed was the chains. I hated being stuck, unable to move. My limbs were splayed out, and I was lying on and attached to a large metal table in a room with a sickly green light. I felt like a starfish, and I tried to move, but couldn't. This brought on a wave of frustration and I screamed while trying to struggle out of the chain's grasp.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a voice interrupted me. I closed my mouth quickly. I didn't know anyone else was here.

"Who's there?" I tried to look around, but the chains made it hard to do so. "Can't you let me up? I won't hurt you," still no one replied. "I don't care anymore." I added softly. _Danielle. _This was _her_ fault. She gave me up. I gritted my teeth in anger. A woman, looking to be in her late twenties or early thirties, stepped out of the shadows. She had her head cocked slightly, her mouth in a small, sad smile that reminded me of Danielle with a sorrowful pang. Her bright blonde hair was tied back into a tight bun-like ponytail, and her deep blue eyes were sympathetic, she looked quite young, and quite like my mom. She had a white suit on that looked identical to a doctor's. She held a clipboard and pen in one hand, and her other hung limply at her side. I sneered at her. "Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?" I asked desperately. "Please, please, just let me up. I can't stand not being able to move." She ignored me, continuing to flip through pages on her clipboard.

"Julia Neva Vang, age 17, birthday April 21st, 1994." I gasped a little in surprise. How did she know this about me? "Quick guesses and glances make me assume the reason you can't stand being locked up is because you have mild ADHD." She looked up at me for conformation. I just looked at her, shocked. "Seven months pregnant, two brothers, one sister, mother and father. When you were eight years old several close people and pets died, including your mother. You want to be an author when you grow up, and you have a unique love of insects. The thing you miss the most since you came to the island—besides your boyfriend and your family—are your two cats, Razzberry and Flipsy. You've had nine fish throughout your life. Your computer username is stri1pes42194, and your life is on your computer. Your password is 61704, your cat's birthday. You're mostly afraid of spiders, dead bodies, darkness, death, and strangers. You don't want to know what gender your child is, and I won't tell you." I shook with fear. How could she know all this? She flipped a lever on the wall opposite me, and the chains fell off. I sat up, rubbing my wrists.

"Okay, you have my attention. What do you want?" I asked warily. She smiled that small smile again, the one that made me want to cave in and tell her everything. A pang ripped at my heart. She reminded me exactly of my mother, in every detail, except for the fact that my mother looked quite a bit older. She gazed at me intently for a moment, before turning to face the door opposite me.

"Follow me," she stated calmly, and walked out the door, not even turning to see if I was following, but I did anyway. I really wanted to know how she attained all of this information about me. How did she have my computer password? I hopped down from the table, and gasped in surprise. I was wearing a white silk gown, much like the ones I used to wear when I was little.

"Who changed my clothes?" I shouted down the hallway. "What happened to my old clothes?" This gown, which was probably supposed to be comforting, felt strange considering I'd been in ragged, rough clothing for the past month. But that jacket was a gift from Matt for my birthday, and the shirt was handmade by my mother. Her comforting scent never left it. I had no answer, but I followed her through the door and down the hallway, which was lit by the same green lights. I shivered. They had an ominous, almost evil feeling to them. She stopped at a door at the end of the hallway and knocked. It opened, and she walked inside, finally turning to gesture me in too. At first I was reluctant to go in, but soon curiosity overwhelmed me and I took a step inside. A man was sitting at a desk; not the same one as the one who brought me here. I wondered where he was right now. This man was shorter, and had glasses. I hugged myself, and swayed back and forth. I felt like shrinking into the ground with fear. Were they going to take my baby? He smiled at me, though it did not look genuine, but slightly forced.

"Thank you, Juliet, you may leave us now." he said softly, but with a commanding air. She took a step out of the room and shut the door. My heart and stomach lurched, and I felt I was going to collapse. I gripped the edge of the seat in front of me with one hand. Not only did this woman look a lot like my mother, but Juliet was my mother's name, too. I shook my head hard. It was just coincidence.

"What do you want?" I tried to growl, but instead it came out as a high-pitched squeak. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks red. So much for a tough first impression. I folded my arms across my chest and drew in a deep breath. He held out his hand.

"Hello Julia. My name is Benjamin Linus." He smiled a crooked smile.

"_Julie,_" I corrected, squeezing my arms tighter against my chest. "And you expect me to touch you, you-you-you—criminal!" I said, my voice growing higher-pitched. I paused for a moment to steady myself. "When I get off this godforsaken island, the first thing I'm going to do is call the police and have you arrested for kidnapping." he raised his eyebrows at me and looked mildly surprised, but there was a sort of light of respect in them. He took a step back and sat down. The respect I'd seen before was gone, and I had to wonder if I'd imagined it. Now he just looked amused. He tapped his fingers on his desk in a wave-like motion.

"Now why would you do something like that?" He asked, staring at me intently above his eyeglasses. "We haven't done anything to hurt you. We're trying to make you as comfortable as possible." he gestured at my gown. I stared at him, horrified.

"Were _you_ the one who took my clothes?" I asked. "What did you do with my other clothes? I was more comfortable in them." He shook his head.

"No, Julia, I wasn't the one who took your clothes." He said.

"So where are my _old_ clothes?" I asked, getting extremely impatient.

"We burned them." he answered simply. I let out a small cry. They were the only things I had left of my family. I sniffled, feeling a familiar burning sensation behind my eyes. "It's no big deal, really. They were so torn up there was barely anything left of them." Anger forced my hands to clench into fists of their own accord. I rushed at him, grabbing him by his shirt and forcing him against the wall.

"What do you want from me?" I screamed at him at the top of my lungs. "Why are you doing this to me? What do you want? Answer me!" I started shaking him, so his head hit the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"I want your baby."

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><p><strong>Ooo, suspense! R&amp;R! BTW, Ben didn't really burn Julia's clothes (he's a really good liar). You'll find out what happens in the next chapter, "A Pact"!<strong>


	4. A Pact

**Honestly, when I started I had no idea where I was going with this chapter. I sort of made it up as I went alone. Hope it doesn't sound too bad or rushed, I had to fit a lot into a little. I loved the whole bunny idea, because this rabbit eventually ends up being the famous "pacemaker" rabbit that Ben uses to scare Sawyer, also the same rabbit that he used when he was a kid (he was just a little bitty bunny then) to run through the pylons to make sure it was safe to go through. I thought this would be so sweet, because Julia is such an animal person. **

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><p>CHAPTER FOUR: A PACT<p>

I took a sip from the glass of water in front of me. Something so civilized as this made me almost want to laugh out loud at the absurdity. It looked so out-of-place considering I'd spent the last month in a makeshift shelter surrounded by the wilds of this island. My hand shook around the glass, but I drank it all quickly. For a moment I was worried they'd put some sort of drug in it, but if they did, it was too late to do anything about it now. I coughed slightly, turning nervously to look at the armed guards standing in the doorway. They were alert. There was no way I could possibly take them out, let alone get away before more showed up. I sighed in despair. There was no hope. Even if I ran, they would find me. I reflected on just 20 minutes before...

Juliet had come back into the room quite quickly, holding some papers in her hand. She said something quietly to Ben and he looked quite confused, and yet, somehow...greedy. Like he just heard someone left a sack of money at his door. He got up and followed, ordering one of the guards to get her something to drink while she waited. But she'd caught a glimpse of what Juliet held in her hand when she came to get Ben: ultrasound pictures. I rubbed my hand across my belly. I was starting to feel a much bigger bump. I wondered if I was visible yet. I knew I would be soon.

Now I sat staring at the small clock on the wall, willing the second hand to go faster. I jiggled my knee, tapped my fingers, hummed a tune. Breathing a little faster than normal, I began to pace the room before one of the guards ordered me to sit down.

"Do you have a hair clip?" I asked nervously. "Or a rubber band?" He looked confused for a moment but, after running his fingers through his hair a couple of times, he bent down to a big duffel bag lying just inside the room, near the corner. He shuffled through it a moment before taking out a huge pile of papers, strapped with a rubber band. He handed it grudgingly over to me, and I took it, thanking him. I twiddled it between my fingers, feeling much better. I'd noticed the guard had left the papers on top of the duffel bag, and when he turned back to face the hallway, I quietly padded over to where the duffel bag lay, and began to flip through the papers. "Oh my god." I said quietly. I had to stifle a gasp of surprise. This huge pile of papers was my life. Literally. It showed my birth records, a copy of my birth certificate. Where I was born, and exactly the date and time. What day I lost my first tooth. Little details like that. A picture of my firstborn brother in the ultrasound. An ultrasound picture of me. I noticed there were no pictures of my other brother and sister, who were born after my dad remarried. It showed every pet I'd ever had, the address and phone number of every house I'd ever lived in. They day I was potty trained. The day I began to walk. My first word. My preschool. My elementary school, Middle school, and high school. They day my mom died. The day my dad remarried. Every person in my family's full names, and pictures of them and when they were born, too, all the way back to my grandparents. I shivered. It was like looking at my entire life through someone else's eyes in a matter of seconds. I quickly put the papers back in the bag and scooted back to my seat. God knows how they got that stuff. I'm not sure I wanted to know just then. Suddenly, I heard loud voices coming from the hallway. I scooted closer, trying not to alert the guard. I strained my ears hard to listen.

"...you tell me this before?" That was definitely Ben's voice. Another, a woman's voice, possibly Juliet's.

"Because she was right there with you! How could I? I wasn't even sure yet if what I was seeing was true."

"Well, Juliet, this is very valuable information you've just given me. We'll see what Jacob thinks about this, even he couldn't have expected it..." his voice came again.

"But, Ben, she's having..."

"Hey!" The guard bellowed, and I flew backwards to sit at the chair again. This time he faced me, and I just sat, thinking hard about what I'd heard. I wish I'd had just one more second to hear what Juliet said. _One more second_. It would have made all the difference. What was I having? Suddenly going back to live with Danielle didn't seem like such a bad idea. I swallowed hard when I heard loud footsteps, and braced myself for whatever news I might receive. Not five minutes ago, I couldn't want for them to get back. The door opened and a new guy came into the room, one I haven't seen before. He, too, was wearing some kind of doctor lab coat and he stopped in the doorway. I took a small step back, but he just smiled.

"Hello, Julie. I'm Ethan." Julie. He called me Julie. That, I think, was what made me realize that maybe I could get my point across sometime. "We need to decide what to do about your baby." He was about to say something more, but I was already prepared.

"I'm staying." he raised his eyebrows at me. "I'm going to stay with my baby; if I can't convince you to let me go, then I'm staying with him." He smiled.

"I was already expecting that. I'm going to take you to the house you'll be staying at." _House_? They have _houses_ here?

"House?" I couldn't stop myself from saying it aloud. He just gave a small laugh, and gestured for me to follow him out the door. Walking down the hallway, we passed several guards, and the room where I woke up in. The chains were gone. Too many questions flowed through my mind, but I forced myself to keep shut. We stepped through another door after going up steep stairs, and the sunlight that hit my eyes was almost blinding. I blinked several times, my head aching from the sudden burst of bright light. Ethan laughed a little, but continued walking. We walked through the jungle, now achingly feeling of home. I wondered what Danielle was doing right now. Why did she give me up? Did I do something to hurt her? I couldn't stand not knowing.

"Ethan?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"Why did Danielle give me up?" I asked him. Why was I asking a total stranger? Maybe it had something to do with the way he'd said my name that made me trust him. He stopped for a moment, then kept walking, not even turning around.

"She was trying to trade you. For her daughter. Alex," a lump grew in my throat. I suddenly couldn't bear to be mad at her anymore. After all, wouldn't I have done that for my baby?

"Did she get Alex back?" A sudden thought hit my mind. "Did you hurt her?" my hands clenched into fists.

He shook his head with a small laugh. "No. To both questions. Alex is sixteen now. This is the only life she has ever known." It made me ponder for a moment. But I felt myself relax. After several hours, we made it to a long row of pylons.

"Pylons?" I squeaked. "What are those for?"

"To keep out the monster." he said simply, before typing in a code at the base of one pylon, where there was a keypad. A sound like a machine powering down came from the pylons, and I saw Ethan take something from the bag he was carrying. It was a small albino rabbit with a figure 8 on it's back.

"What do you need a-" but I was cut short as he dropped it on the ground and gave it a small pat. I gasped in horror as I watched it hop towards the pylons. "Why would you-"

"Shh." he said, putting a finger to his lips. The rabbit hopped all the way through and nothing happened. Ethan walked through the potential barrier and picked up the rabbit, putting it back into his bag.

"That's not right!" I cried, grabbing his bag and taking out the rabbit, cuddling it close to my chest. "That thing might not have been turned off!"

"We needed to test it. To make sure it was safe for us," he said, waving off the issue. I was thoroughly offended. "Better it than us," he added disgruntledly. I cuddled the creature close to my chest, kissing it on the head, rocking it back and forth, as if it were a baby. We began to approach a big neighborhood. If I hadn't seen the mountains in the background, I would have thought I was back in America. It had a kind of 70s style to the way everything was made. There was a big playground in the center. Everything looked welcoming. He led me up to one of the smaller houses.

"Fully equipped—stocked refrigerator, one bedroom, a bathroom. A small garden space in the back, a large backyard. Piano, because you like to play-" -I gaped at him- "-and a television with cable. All for you," he said enthusiastically.

"But, why?" I couldn't help asking. I felt giddy inside. My own place!

"Because you need to be comfortable while you're here. Enjoy." And then he just walked away. I rushed inside, not able to wait to see what all is in there. The walls were orange—not exactly my color. I set down the rabbit and it hopped to hide under the couch. I looked at the bookshelf. All my favorite books. There were 3 shelves full. The couch was soft. I sat down, careful not to bounce too hard as I wouldn't disturb my new friend. I turned on the TV. There were several channels. A radio sat on the counter, as did a record player with several songs. I opened the fridge, and there were several soft drinks, microwaveable pizzas, even a small cake with vanilla whipped frosting. The bedroom was huge, and the bed was soft. I heard a soft padding, and I whipped around to see Rabbit following me into the room, his nose twitching. I giggled and scooped him up, tossing him onto the bed with me. Everything was so perfect. I caught a glimpse out the window. My backyard was amazing, too. There was a small shed and rows of soft soil—perfect for gardening. I went out there, Rabbit following close behind. Until I could think of a name for him, I was going to call him Rabbit. I walked towards the shed, and opened it up with a gasp. Inside were dozens of gardening tools—a plow, gloves, and rows upon rows of seeds. I saw several flowers; marigold, roses, daisies, sunflowers. I also saw things like pumpkin, grapes, tomatoes, potatoes, and watermelons. I saw herbs, too, like basil and parsley. These could last me a lifetime. I began eagerly digging the holes and plating the seeds—holding off on the carrots for now—and patting down the soil, watering them a little. Everything was so perfect here. I went back inside and opened the fridge again. I looked, and finally I saw it—a small bag of baby carrots and a little tub of ranch dressing. One of my favorites. I split open the bag and handed one to Rabbit, giggling when his soft whiskers ate the carrot right out of my hand. I put the bag in the fridge, and hopped down on the couch, flipping on the TV. I patted the cushion slightly, and Rabbit hopped up to snuggle beside my leg. I fingered the little 8 on his back; I knew it was just paint. It couldn't have been real. Could it? I shook my head. Why did I bother myself with this anymore? I just sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed my television until late in the afternoon. I casually glanced at the clock on my wall, and with a start I realized it read 12:57; AM. I quickly flipped off the TV. Rabbit, who had dozed off, jerked awake and looked wildly around. I scooped him up in my arms and carried him to my room. I didn't realize how tired I'd become. Only when I was lying in my bed, lights all off, Rabbit snoring loudly beside me, and about to go to sleep was when I realized something. Everything was perfect, sure; _too_ perfect. I had been played like a soccer ball;

They had been expecting me this whole time.

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><p><strong>Even though I had no idea where I was going with this, I was proud where it ended. I need help of thinking of a better name for Rabbit (I could not think of ANYTHING). I need something that a 17-year-old girl would name it. Also, to think she was tricked the whole time, manipulated into thinking it was her idea to come here in the first place...such a Ben thing. ;) hope to update more later!<strong>


	5. Petals of Flame

**After re-watching "Happily Ever After", I realized that Ben's bunny did in fact have a name. Widmore's henchman called him "Angstrom" in the quote when, right before Desmond was put through the electromagnetic experiment, I heard him say, "Guess what, Angstrom? You're going in next," to the bunny. Poor bunny! 'Cause right after that a guy dies from going in there. The man, Angstrom, is actually a famous scientist. I guess. **

**A free request (you can contribute something to the story) to anyone who can give me the question (and the answer in english) that coordinates with this answer used throughout the series: "Ille qui nos omnes servabit"**

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><p>CHAPTER FIVE: PETALS OF FLAME<p>

It crashed to the floor with a sound that sent vibrations through my ears.

"Crap!" I shouted, kicking the remains of the lamp across the living room floor, then grabbed my hair in a growl of frustration. Now I'd just have to do more! I took deep breaths...it wouldn't be good to get angry. I grabbed the dustpan, and moved over to work on the pieces of glass. It was hard to bend down, I noticed; I had gotten _huge_. People have begun to stare, and it makes me feel so uncomfortable, I hate leaving the house now, even to garden. But there's not much I have to do; the sprouts are poking up nicely. The tropical weather makes things grow much faster than usual. I sucked in a deep breath. I'd cut my finger on one of the pieces. I put it in my mouth, the metallic taste of blood sending repulsive shivers through my body. I took it out, and looked at it, astonished.

The wound was gone. There was no trace of it whatsoever. The pain wasn't there either. For a moment, I wondered if it was just a hallucination; but I could still taste the blood.

Oh well. I'd just have to ask Ethan about it later. He was the doctor here. I swept up the rest of the lamp pieces and put them in the trash. I remembered just last week...

"Where'd you get that bunny?" Ben asked one morning, walking up to me while I was sitting on my porch, cuddling him in my lap.

"Ethan made him run through pylons." I said. He looked at me, amused.

"Better it than us." He said, giving a wry smile. I just shook my head and chuckled. I fingered the 8 on it's back. "We go way back." He said, gesturing to the bunny. "His father was mine when I was just a child." I nodded. How intriguing.

"So you raised this bunny?" I asked him. He just shook his head with a laugh.

"There was a man named Mr. Widmore who used him as a test subject. The rabbit's name is Angstrom." I had to laugh out loud at the name.

"What's with the eight?" I asked. "You know—the eight on it's back?" I gestured to it.

"Well, the Dharma Initiative liked to...mark their test subjects. I stole this one's father from the lab, and then, eventually, this one. I liked to go out into the jungle...past the pylons. I needed to make sure they were really off." He smiled—a little creepily, I might add. I gave a little shiver. I didn't even want to know what the Dharma Initiative was.

Now the little padding of Angstrom's paws didn't send me wheeling around anymore.

"Well," I said to the little bunny. "That was a waste of a perfectly good lamp! I'll have to go over to Juliet and ask if I can borrow one of hers." I patted Angstrom's head before I realized he hated that. He gave me what looked like was supposed to be a mean look. "Angstrom, don't even try. You'll always be adorable," I laughed, and he followed me into my bedroom. "Now how am I supposed to read at night?" He jumped up under the covers with me, following our regular routine, and snuggled into my chest, his face lying next to mine on the pillow. He must have been one heck of a test subject.

When I awoke, it wasn't to the peaceful atmosphere I usually did, but at 5:30 in the morning to screaming and an orange light. I peeked out my window, and what I saw, almost made my heart stop. Everything—the houses, the streets, the trees, _everything_ was on fire. My head whipped around when I heard a bell. _My doorbell_? I thought in confusion. Holding Angstrom close, I answered the door.

Before me stood a teenage girl, with long, curly black hair and dark brown eyes. She looked familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. I handed me a small sack. In it, was 3 water bottles, a pack of matches, and a knife.

"Hurry! Go, now! You need to get out of here!" She whispered loudly, frantically gesturing outside. I shook my head vigorously.

"I like it here. Everyone's nice. I don't want to leave," I said.

"No, you have to listen to me." Her voice was stern, like a mother's. "They're going to kill you. They're going to kill you and take your baby. If you want to live—if you want to keep your baby—you'll leave." No...no, it can't be true. I buried my face in Angstrom's fur. "You have to go! Go—now!" she shoved the pack in my arms and I stumbled outside, towards the jungle before the pylons. "The code is 5916172443!" I closed my eyes and repeated this over and over in my head as I made my way into the jungle. The last thing I saw before I left was the tiny leaves of my hard-worked for plants withering away in the fire.

When I got to the pylons, it hit me. I knew where that girl was familiar to me. Danielle. I felt a little woozy with all this going on, especially now that I knew what Alex looked like and where she was. I _had_ to let Danielle know. I began to approach the pylons.

"Wait!" I heard a loud voice. My heart began to beat rapidly; it was Juliet.

"What do _you_ want?" I screamed. She looked calm, almost concerned, and part of me wanted to just relent and and do what she wants. But if what Alex said was true, then it was all an act.

"I don't want you to get hurt," she said calmly, with a small smile. She started walking up to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. She looked my right in the eye. I held Angstrom so close to my chest he gave a little whimper and I let him out a little to breathe. "Remember, Julia, you're eight months pregnant now. Almost nine. You've got to think about what's best for you baby," she said. I drew in a deep breath.

"Okay. I'll come with you." I don't know what it was...but something in her eyes made me believe she was telling the truth.

"Thank you, Julia," she said, smiling. I began to walk ahead of her before I heard a clicking sound, and felt a sharp pain in the back of my skull. Then everything went black.

_Not here again,_ I was back in the chains.

"Why?" I groaned.

"Why?" I jerked up. What is with these others and their need to hide in the dark before they abruptly make themselves known? I growled.

"As in, _why_ are you doing this to me?" A sudden thought hit me. "What did you do with Angstrom?" I asked, fearful they might have hurt him.

"He was my rabbit in the first place. I'm not going to hurt him," it was Ben.

"Oh, so having Ethan run him through pylons isn't going to hurt him?" I retorted.

"Not if they're turned off." he said calmly.

"Where is he?" I shouted. He sat waiting, just staring at me. I sneered at him "What's wrong with you?"

"I just want to know why you did it." he asked. This stopped me in my tracks, and now I didn't feel angry, just...confused.

"Did what?" I asked.

"Set the fire. So you could escape," he said, folding his hands and putting them to his face. I had to laugh at this.

"You think _I_ set the fire? Get the girl in here...Danielle's daughter. What's her name...Alex?" The look of shock on his face was more than evident. "Yeah, you go and ask _her_ who started the fire. Maybe she'll enlighten you about how she _told me you were going to kill me_." I growled at him. A look of shock and fear fluttered across his face. But it was gone. He left the room quickly. I smiled to myself, feeling smug for a moment. But then I realized. Were they going to punish her? A new fear grew in my belly. Now it would be all my fault. I sat there for a while before they brought in a young boy, looking beaten and bloody. A man I didn't know was grabbing him by his hair.

"Say it, Carl!" He growled.

"I'm...I'm sorry for trying to break you out without asking you first." I felt quite sorry for this boy. I gave him a look of pure sympathy, trying to let him know I really appreciated it. I saw him give a small nod before he was escorted out of the room. Not long after, a woman came and undid my chains. Neither of us talked as she led me back to my house, where Angstrom was sitting on my porch. I gave a little cry and picked him up, rocking him back and forth. I walked inside and collapsed on the couch. I looked out my back window...everything was badly burned. There was nothing left of my garden. I drew in a shaky sob and covered my face with my hands. Did they really want to kill me? Would Ben punish Alex? Or me? I went to the bookshelf and pulled out a copy of the first Harry Potter book. I smiled slightly to myself. I was a huge Harry Potter fan...I sat down and began to read. It comforted me. Reading was one of the things I did often on the mainland, and I had come to miss it almost as much as I did my cats. Angstrom hopped up next to me to stick his nose in the book. He couldn't read it—at least I didn't think he could, although I've seen some pretty strange things on this island—but the warmth of him on his leg made me feel so at ease I can sleep. And that's not easy to do when I'm stressed. At least I didn't have morning sickness anymore, like I used to. For a while, at least, everything seemed normal. I found myself longing for those days to come back. Then I realized I needed to talk to Alex. I set down the book and walked out the door. She was pretty easy to find. She was sitting on the swing-set. Now she wasn't swinging much, just hanging. I wondered if she'd be mad at me. I sat down next to her, and tried a smile. I cleared my throat.

"Hey," I said. She just glanced up at me for a moment. "I'm...I didn't mean for you to get into trouble. I was just so scared..." I began to babble. She looked up at me a moment and smiled slightly.

"It was my fault. I should have asked if you even _wanted_ to be rescued. I was the one who asked Carl to start the fire in the first place," I looked at her seriously.

"Alex...are they really going to kill me?"

"How did you know my name is Alex?" She asked, almost right after I finished the sentence. I suddenly didn't know what to say.

"Ben told me," I said, waving it off. I saw her tense all over.

"I hate him," she spat through gritted teeth. "He always has to pretend to...what he calls _"protecting me_". I don't need to be _protected_." It surprised me that Ben would be the protecting type. "He's just been waiting for an excuse to lock Carl up. Now he has it." she threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"_Lock him up?_" I asked in disbelief. She nodded, looking straight forward.

"Yeah. In the cages. Where else would he lock him up?" She growled. It suddenly hit me to ask the question that was eating away at my mind.

"Do you know who your mother is?" Oops. That made her look a little frightened, but she shook her head with a bitter laugh.

"I never met my mother. She died when I was born," she said.

"Oh." We kind of just sat there for a while.

"Of course," she finally broke the silence. "Ben has a reputation for lying. If he weren't my father, I'd totally leave this place," oh. my. God. Alex was being raised as Ben's _daughter_? Now I was _really _scared he had it in for me. I swallowed hard and stood up.

"Well, I'd...I'd better go and feed Angstrom." I said quickly. She was slowly nodding to herself. I hope I hadn't given her any ideas.

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><p><strong>ABSOLUTELY LOVE where this ended. This might be my best one yet. Don't forget the question! Also, it's my own little theory on why Carl was locked up. ;)<strong>


	6. Niches and Bumps

**Besides the one when her baby's born, this might be my favorite chapter, because it reaveals so much. I also started really getting a feel for my character here. Hope you like it. Enjoy! Also, I tried to make it as close as I could to the actual story. Sorry if it's not to a T. The book is called _Carrie_ by Stephen King.**

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><p>CHAPTER SIX: NICHES AND BUMPS<p>

I took a step out onto the back porch, just standing for a while, my arms at my sides, feeling the wind blowing through my hair. There would be no saving my savaged garden. I went back inside and walked through my house. I opened the door, kicking Angstrom back when he tried to follow me. I didn't want his company today, and besides, Juliet didn't like him in her house. I got halfway down the sidewalk when I realized I'd left my book. Cursing, I made my way back inside. Now I'll have to deal with Angstrom again. I prodded my shelf, before realizing it was laying on my bed. I'd just finished it last night. I picked it up, and hugged it across my chest as I walked back outside. Angstrom didn't even bother to follow me this time. As I looked around, I realized things were looking to be back to normal. The people here worked quickly, and they only reminders of the fire were the blackened trunks of the trees. It had been three days, and they'd already repainted. I reflected on the night before, when I tried to finish the book in time. Although I loved _Stephen King,_ for some reason it was just hard for me to read it quickly. I'd stayed up until about 2:00. Now some of my neighbors were out working in their yards. They flashed me dirty looks as I walked by. I felt my cheeks flush, and I knew they blamed me for what happened. Not that it was my fault. I wanted to yell back at them, but I kept myself quiet, realizing with a flicker of frustration Juliet's house was all the way on the other side of the neighborhood. I held my head up high and continued walking. Some of the men shouted more ghastly insults, and only one or two of the younger ones flashed me sympathetic looks. This, I assured myself, was why I left Angstrom home. They could have hurt him.

"Agh!" I shouted when I felt something scrape my cheek. I place a hand to it, and it stung. I pulled my hand back red and bloody. Spitting, I turned around. Everyone was staring at me, but I couldn't tell who did it. I looked down. A small, jagged stone half the size of the palm of my hand was sitting at my feet, a streak of red across it. I picked it up and pocketed it. Ben would hear about this, but I honestly doubted he'd do anything about it. Suddenly, I heard excited whispers but I didn't turn back around until I got to Juliet's house. Standing on the porch, I rang the doorbell. I touched my cheek again, wiping away the blood. But something didn't feel right. I rubbed it again, harder. I felt nothing. I looked at my reflection on the window, and gasped. There was no wound. Just the small, thin scar the length of my thumb that made me realize it wasn't all in my imagination. And the dark red stain on my sleeve. The door opened, and I gasped when I saw Juliet's hands in rough bandages.

"Oh my God!" I shouted. "What happened?" She smiled an exasperated smile and closed her eyes.

"I burnt my hands. On my muffins." I stepped inside the cute little house. An old song was playing. It kept repeating "_Downtown...downtown...downtown..."_

"At least you have some good muffins to eat." I tried to reassure her, but she just shook her head with a laugh.

"No, I dropped them all." Suddenly she noticed the bloodstain on my sleeve. "What happened to you?" she gestured to my wrist.

"Oh, it's nothing," I tried to hide it behind my back. She looked at me sympathetically.

"If they're giving you trouble, Julie, You should tell someone. Some of them may really hurt you." I turned my head away.

"No, really, it's okay," I said, forcing a smile. "It's the niches and bumps that get us through life." I felt the burning sensation behind my eyes and I had to turn my face up and try not to blink, forcing back tears. Juliet had turned away.

"Well, if it's really okay, we'll start in a moment. Go ahead and take a seat." I kicked off my shoes by the door and sat down on one of the poofy couches and chairs that lay in a circle. I chose the couch. It reminded me of my own house. Suddenly, the doorbell rang over and over and people started flooding into the room. They all avoided my gaze and I couldn't help putting up a hand to hide my cheek. She turned off the music. "Well, let's start," she began. A man I didn't know started talking badly about the book, and I felt offended. The main character reminded me of myself in several ways. _Maybe that's why he's saying such bad things,_ a little voice in the back of my head came on. After all, I did recognize him as one of them men throwing insults at me this morning. I swallowed back a lump in my throat. Juliet must have caught on, because she interrupted.

"I'm sorry, but this book happens to be my absolute _favorite_ book, and I'm so glad that you feel this way." She caught my eye and gave me a tiny wink. I couldn't help but smile back at her, relieved. Suddenly, the whole structure started shaking like it was going to collapse. _Earthquake!_ I realized. Juliet's voice grew suddenly panicked. "Everyone, get into the doorways!" She shouted. Things were falling off everywhere, and the couches shifted their positions to form a solemn W. It stopped abruptly and turned to a loud noise of something like metal crunching together. It was big, and it reminded me of the monster. Everyone hurried outside, and I followed. Everyone was looking up at the sky. Shielding the sun with my hand, I looked up too, and what I saw made my heart stop. A plane was in the sky, quite low to the ground for a plane. A fully equipped passenger flight with a symbol on it that I couldn't make out. I watched, in horror, as the plane twisted and snapped with a sickening crunching sound, into three pieces, the cockpit, tail section, and fuselage, and crashed in the jungle. There were three strings of smoke going off into three different directions, looking creepily like party streamers. My knees felt weak, and I was shaking so hard. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I looked over to see Alex looking out through the jungle grimly. Ben had come out of his house as well, and he turned frantically to look at the crowd.

"Goodwin," he cried, and the man came hurrying forward. "Go over to the tail section. Pretend you're one of them. You're wounded and in shock. Ethan," Ethan's attention turned to Ben now. He was staring with a fixation up at the sky. "Go over to the fuselage. There may actually be survivors. I want lists in three days. Go!" And the two men were off into the jungle. Now Ben turned to Juliet. She tensed, clutching the book tighter. He came up to her and took it slowly out of her grasp, and looked at the cover, then back up at her. "I guess I'm out of the book club." The look on Juliet's face was a mixture of pure shock and fear, with a little bit of repulsiveness. Then he turned and went back into his house. Confused, I wanted to ask Juliet what he had meant, but she was already turning to walk away. I turned to go home. After all this, I just wanted to rest.

"Hey," Alex said, coming up to me to look me in the eyes. We were exactly the same height. "It'll be okay." Before I could say anything, she was walking away. I shook my head. _I guess she didn't want to be seen in public with me_, I thought bitterly. When I opened the door, Angstrom was waiting, his little nose twitching in anticipation. I was relieved he wasn't hurt. I picked him up and kissed him on the nose as I surveyed the damage. Several dishes were broken, and most of the books had fallen off my bookshelf. If the lamp was still there, it would have been on the ground, too. I sighed and began my tedious task of replacing the books, one by one, on my bookshelf. Before I'd gotten halfway through, however, my doorbell rang. I dropped the book I was holding, and went to get the door. Juliet was standing on my porch.

"What?" I growled, but stopped myself. Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she were crying, and her hair was messed up.

"Here." she handed me my book. "You left it at my house." She tried to smile, but failed horribly. I opened the door wider.

"Why don't you come in?" I offered. She closed her eyes and held up a hand.

"No," she took a deep breath. "I couldn't."

"Yes, you could," I gestured inside. "We could talk. I'll fix you some muffins." She gave me one of her 'Juliet' looks (for that was the only way I could describe them), and sighed.

"Very funny," she said, but she came inside and sat down at one of the little chairs by the counter. I took some batter out of the cupboard and poured it into the muffin pan, putting it into the oven. I looked at her expectantly, but it was a while before she spoke. "Ben thinks I'm his," she said, with a voice that clearly said she felt powerless. I sat across from her, looking at her and willing her to go on.

"How is that a problem?" I asked. She took a shaky breath.

"Because I don't love him." She stopped for a moment.

"Well?" I asked, exasperated. "Who _do_ you love?" She looked at me with another one of her Juliet looks.

"Goodwin." she said softly. Shock rippled through me like a punch to the stomach.

"But he's married!" I said.

"I _know,_" she groaned. "But Ben can tell. That's why he pulled Goodwin to go on this little mission of his. He's trying to get Goodwin out of the way...killed," she added, seeing the confused look on my face.

"Great," I growled. "Just great. What a little weasel. Why'd you go and tell him you loved Goodwin?"

"I _didn't_," she said, offended. "He follows me around like a puppy. He _knows_, Julie. I can tell."

"Why didn't he just confront Goodwin instead of conning him into getting himself killed?" I asked.

"Because that's not how Ben works." She buried her face in her hands. I heard a little ding and turned to my muffins. I almost opened the oven when Juliet stopped me.

"Use the gloves. Trust me," she said. I couldn't stop a small, muffled laugh from escaping my throat. I pulled on the gloves and then took out the muffins, setting them in front of Juliet on the table. She suddenly looked up at me.

"What did you mean when you said it's the niches and bumps that get us through life? That means something to you, doesn't it?" she asked suddenly. I really didn't like to talk about it, and maybe she could tell, because she turned down and said, "never mind," but I interrupted her, holding up a hand.

"No...it's alright. The day my mom died I went out into the yard and started tearing up the grass with my fists. I was eight years old. That's when I got this crazy idea," my voice broke, and I had to swallow, pushing back tears. "I got this crazy idea that I couldn't let her go. I couldn't live without her. So, I...I walked down to the pond at the front of my neighborhood where I liked to go and feed the ducks. I climbed to a high point of a tree leaning over the water, and I had placed lots of rocks in my pants and pockets and socks and shoes. And I leaned over the water, and I was going to jump in and drown myself. When this...this man came over. He talked to me, and persuaded me to stop. The words he used...he said it's the niches and bumps that get us through life. That get us to where we need to be," I said. "He got me to come down from the tree. He...he saved my life." I gulped. "Then I just told him everything. Everything! To a complete stranger. And you know what he did? He listened the whole time, like he really cared about what I said. He sat there and calmly listened, even when I paced back and forth and screamed at him, at the sky, at everything. He let me get out all my anger. And I felt better afterward. He gave me a pebble, smooth like I had not seen before by the pond. He said whenever I felt angry, I just squeeze the pebble." I laughed a little. "I lost it when I did the laundry. Now I can't really control my anger. But he told me that if I loved something, set it free. Because it deserves to be free." All this time Juliet was watching me just as intently as this man. And when I was done, she thanked me for sharing this with her. She said she wouldn't tell anyone.

"And I won't tell anyone about you and Goodwin," I said with a small sad smile. She stopped at the doorway like she wanted to say something more, but she left without another word.

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><p><strong>Hope you likey! Please R&amp;R! Also, no answers to the question on the last chapter yet. <strong>


	7. The Shadow's Heart

**Sorry, this chapter was not as long as I'd hoped. I was running out of time! Hope you enjoy. By the way...do the numbers look familliar? **

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><p>CHAPTER SEVEN: THE SHADOW'S HEART<p>

I quickly shuffled outside of the door onto the back porch, swiveling around to make sure no one had seen me. Angstrom hadn't even bothered to try and follow me, I noted dully, my heart aching with the thought of knowing he holds long grudges. No one was even outside today except for three people in a back garden raking leaves. I tiptoed across the lawn as if not to alert them. When I was clear of any possible sightings, I broke out into a run. I hope Alex remembers...

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><p>4 HOURS AGO- I took a deep breath, summoning up all my strength. "You can't tell Ben." I said firmly. She smiled wickedly.<p>

"Don't worry. I'd love to have something to hold against him. You can trust me." I took a deep breath and smiled a wry smile.

"Okay. There's a native living here, on the island...her name is...is Danielle." I choked, knowing fully that standing right in front of me, unaware, was Danielle's lost daughter. "I lived with her for about a moon—month." I cursed myself. Have I ever sounded stupider? "I'm going to ask her to take me to the survivors of the crash." She didn't even try to disguise the look of shock on her face.

"Why do you need me to know this?" She asked curiously. "Why couldn't you have slipped away without anyone knowing? It would be easier that way," she said, contemplating.

"I just wanted you to know. If there's anyone on this island I trust, it's you, Alex," I said breathlessly. She looked quite surprised. "And I need someone to take care of Angstrom." Again, more surprise.

"You're not taking him with you?" She asked worriedly. "But you two go everywhere together!" she exclaimed. I shuffled my feet.

"Yes, well...I can't help thinking he'll be safer here." She nodded thoughtfully.

"I guess so...I hope I see you again, Julie."

"And you as well."

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><p>PRESENT DAY. I skidded to a halt when I made it to the pylons. I remembered the first and last time I'd been here, when I first found Angstrom. It seemed like a million years ago. Remembering what Alex told me, I punched in the numbers...5916172443. A whirring sound began. Cautiously, I stepped forward. I knew all too well what pylons could do. I gritted my teeth, half expecting the sonic waves to come on and blast my head of then and there. But nothing happened. I let out a deep breath when I'd made my way through. I was careful to reset it, but before I did, I took something out of my pocket. I wanted them to know where I'd gone, so they didn't worry about me once they realized I was gone. "they" including Karl, Juliet, Alex, and Richard, the only ones that even began to even look a little like they cared for me. It was a little orange rubber ball—the one I was often seen bouncing on my porch against the wall. I set it in the grass just inside the fence right before I turned it on. I whirring noise started again, and I couldn't wait to put as many steps as I possibly could between me and the fence. When I made it into the jungle, I began to call Danielle's name. That's when I heard them.<p>

They were whispers, speaking in a language I did not know. They surrounded me, coming from everywhere. I cringed, and pressed my hands over my ears. I understood some of what they were saying, and I didn't like it one bit...

_"It's the one. The little one. The little one. Take the little one, brother, for she is a candidate. Take the little one, brother." "The jungle is moving. Stay out!" "Beware, girl! Your little one is doomed. She was chosen for a fate you could never understand." "The brothers are watching, waiting...you can't hide forever. They will find you...they will..."_

"You shouldn't be here." One voice rang out above the whispers, and they were driven away quickly. I looked up slowly. A man was standing in the bushes, looking down at me. He was dressed in a white button-down shirt and wore loose khaki pants. He had ruffled blond hair. I realized I'd sank to my knees. I stood up and brushed the dirt off my pants.

"What makes you say so?" I tried to ask casually. He shrugged.

"You're more than obviously pregnant." I said. I looked at him strangely.

"Do I know you?" I asked curiously. He looked extremely familiar. He smiled slowly.

"Probably." Then I blinked, and he was gone. I blinked several times, wondering if it was just my imagination.

"Julia?" I heard a voice cry out. I spun around in disbelief, because I recognized that voice. I was suddenly speechless with shock.

"Mother?" I asked, feeling tears prick my eyes and pour down my cheeks. She smiled.

"I've missed you so much, Julie..." she said.

"Mama..." I ran toward her, but she whirled around and ran through the trees. I wondered if I was going insane. "Mother! Don't leave me!" Suddenly she was gone. The whispers began again and I cried out in frustration. What was going on? Maybe I should never have left. I tried to make my way through the trees to go back, but I had no idea which direction I was going. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a familiar "_Tiki-tika_" sound. Swallowing down my fear, I stood with my eyes closed, hoping the monster wouldn't see me. When I opened my eyes again...I was surrounded in a thick black smoke. I cried out, for I couldn't see anything. I tried to make my way through the darkness, but I wasn't getting anywhere. Clicking noises were coming from all around me. As I stared deeper through the smoke, I saw small sparks of blue lightning, and...yes. It was pictures! All memories of my life. My last words to my mother...the death of my unborn brother...my time with Matt. Everything in my life that sent spurts of emotion through me. I couldn't help myself. I sank to my knees, sobbing, when I realized everything had gone quiet. I looked up, and the smoke was gone. My head still felt fuzzy, and I could barely hear. I had the faint sensation that someone was calling my name. _Please,_ I thought. _Just go away. Just make it go away._ But it didn't go away. Instead, the voices grew louder, and someone was shaking me hard by my shoulders...I screamed. I screamed and thrashed and writhed on the ground, anything to make it go away. I returned to my senses by a stinging sensation in my cheek. I touched it gingerly, and my eyes came into focus. It was Juliet, and she was looking at me with a mix of confusion, worry and pity. She'd _slapped_ me. I slapped her right back. She looked utterly insulted.

"Sorry," I smiled wryly. "Force of habit." She relaxed a bit, touching her cheek lightly.

"Well, I'm glad you're back to your normal self," she said bitterly. "Glad I could help, by the way." She held out a hand to help me up, and I gratefully took it, getting wobbly to my feet. "What happened back there?" She asked. I shook my head with a little laugh.

"I honestly don't know. If it was my opinion, I was hallucinating." She gave me a Juliet Look.

"What did you see?" she asked curiously. I cringed.

"I saw...my mother." She raised her eyebrows. "And a thick black smoke that showed my flashes of my life and blue lightning." She gave me a blank look. I couldn't tell whether or not she was contemplating something or she was deliberately hiding her emotions. "I saw a man dressed in white with blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked so familiar...but I just couldn't place it." She shook her head.

"We need to get back anyway. We've all been worried sick about you." she said sympathetically. I gave a disbelieving snort.

"Yeah, I'll believe _that_ when I see it," I said. "The only ones that even come close to _seeming _to care are you, Alex, Karl and Richard." I grimaced. She looked hurt and offended. She turned away, hiding her face. I realized I'd struck a nerve.

"Come on," she said icily. "We need to get back. You're nine months pregnant now, Julia. We can't just have you wandering off whenever you feel like it." And she stomped through the undergrowth, her footsteps loud and racket y. I hoped it wouldn't attract the monster...or whatever that smoke thing was. I suddenly felt a pang of sorrow. Had I really hurt Juliet's feelings that badly? I growled in frustration. I had a knack for saying exactly the wrong things at the wrong times. My mind flashed back to the whispers.

"Juliet?" I called.

"What?" she growled.

"Have you ever heard...whispers while you're out here?" She stopped suddenly, looking thoughtful.

"Yeah...I thought I was the only one that heard them though. But they speak gibberish...some other language, or maybe in reverse. I don't know. That's the creepiest thing about them. Not knowing what they're saying." But I _did_ know what they were saying. Not that I'd tell that to Juliet. She didn't need more reason to be mad or jealous of me. Honestly, I think she had it lucky. I'd rather not hear what they were saying. With a rush of fear I was worried they were talking about my baby. Who were they? Or..._what_ were they? Where did they come from? The biggest question that hit me, and the voice that scared me the most. _The brothers are watching, waiting...you can't hide forever. They will find you...they will..._ I didn't know who the brothers were, but I could guess one of them was the man I saw earlier. I don't think I wanted to see him again. What did they want with me? With my baby? I shook my head and sat down when Juliet stopped.

"What is it?" I asked, suddenly afraid the monster had come back.

"Hear that? It's water. There's a stream nearby. I'm going to get some water. Wait there." And she left, and suddenly I was alone. I had the tiniest fear the whispers would start up again, but part of me wanted them to, just in case they had some information for me. They didn't, and I started to think they were gone forever. I heard a crashing in the bushes and I leaped to my feet, my heart beating fast as a young boy emerged from the trees. I was about to cry out to Juliet when he put a finger to his lips and made a "shh" sound. I shut my mouth quickly. He gestured for me to follow him and I did, slowly. He kept glancing over his shoulder to make sure I kept up. Then, suddenly, he vanished.

"Hey!" I called. "Hey! Come back!" I'd never seen him before, and I was afraid he had gotten lost. A sharp spasm gripped my body and I gasped, doubling over in agony. It was gone for about a couple minutes, then it came back. I choked, crouching on the floor of the jungle. "Ju-Juliet! I cried loudly. I heard a faint "what" but I couldn't tell if it was for real. Anger gripped me. The boy lured me out here! My thought was silenced when another spasm gripped my body. Fear tore through my heart like a cold claw. "_Help!_" I screamed with everything I had in me, desperate for someone to hear me. "Help me! Please, somebody! Help!" I heard crashing in the undergrowth, and I was afraid that boy had come back. But it was Juliet, looking sweaty and worried. When she saw me doubled over, her brow furrowed. Another spasm sent me curling into a ball and her eyes suddenly sparkled with understanding. "Please help me," I gasped. "I think...I think I'm having my baby."

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><p><strong>Dun dun duh! The numbers are 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42, with one number added to each number to make 5, 9, 16, 17, 24, 43. The whispers are based on the actual voices emitted throughout the series. You can go to their wikipedia to see exactly what each says at every point in time. <strong>


	8. The Life and Lies of Julia Vang

**This is the flashbacks all through Julia's life. Maybe to give you an idea of what she was like. To sum it up, she was a pretty good girl, special in many different ways. She only started having anger issues after her mother died. It's called "The Life and Lies of Julia Vang" because she is a HUGE reader and one of her favorite series is Harry Potter. ;) There are lots of hidden E. Eggs to several books in here. WalkingInSlowMotion is the winner of the contest, (the answer being "What lies in the shadow of the statue?/He who will save/protect us all "Ille qui nos omnes servabit".) and they can enter something, however big or small, into the story. The only things I won't allow are character deaths, the gender/name of the baby, or when she leaves the others, etc. big things like that. I'm okay with the littler things, like who's with her when she has her baby (besides Juliet), if she meets the MIB or Jacob again, what the whispers say next, or if she falls in love with someone (make it appropriate; she's 17 years old!). Thank you.**

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><p>CHAPTER EIGHT: THE LIFE AND LIES OF JULIA VANG<p>

"Friend, or relative?" The nurse dressed in white, with her hair tied back in a bun tried out the friendliest smile she could manage. The truth was, she's been here since 3 AM, and she was itching to get home at get to bed. The man in front of the counter splayed his hands on the table.

"Friend." He said. She typed something into her keyboard, but kept sneaking glances back at him. He was quite handsome, but she didn't have the courage to make a move. Plus, he could be married. Her smile growing wider ever the more though, she looked up at him.

"Sign in over there please. Will Mrs. Vang be expecting you?" She asked kindly.

"No, probably not," he said with a small laugh. He quickly signed his name and address on the ivory, official-looking paper and stepped through the too-clean halls of the hospital. He stopped to look in the little room of the nursery were the babies were kept. There she was, sleeping. He stuck his thumbs in his pockets, still amazed with the wonder that something as small as this newborn baby could be something great someday.

"Excuse me. Are you the father?" A nurse asked from behind him. He turned around quickly.

"Um, no," he said, taking his hands out of his pockets. He smiled slightly. The nurse looked into the room at the child he was staring at.

"She's beautiful though," she said, almost wistfully. "The mother was very proud." his smile got wider.

"I expect she was."

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><p>"Be careful now, darling!" a woman with beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes called across the park. "I'll just be right over here working on some papers," she said before turning away to sit at the picnic tables under the trees. Close enough so that if something happened to her precious daughter, she would hear about it. But the little girl was being careless, and it was hard to make her cry. She kept trying to climb on top of the roof of the playground with the "big kids". They kept teasing her and gently pushing her off. She folded her arms and stuck out her lip.<p>

"Aww, come on Nina, let's just let her up for a while. She can't do no harm," one of the older boys said. The girl, Nina, rolled her eyes but gestured,

"Come on, get up here." Beaming, the tiny four-year-old was helped to the top. She gaped in awe at so much she could see. She's never been that high before. Suddenly, the ground was on top, and she wasn't holding on to anything. She hit the ground with a _thud,_ setting a light graze in her knee which started to leak blood. She sniffled, and wiped the tears out of her eyes. Several of the boys cackled with laughter, and Nina looked triumphant.

"That wasn't very funny! Now look what you did. She'll pro'lly sic her mother on us now," he said, a slight edge of fear in his voice.

"Come on, Ryan, you didn't want her up here just as much as I didn't." she pouted at him, folding her arms over her chest in a mock imitation of the girl, then stuck her tongue out at her. The little girl stood up wobbly and ran, crying lightly, over to sit under the slide, her face buried in her arms. Her knee stung, and she tried to rub it with her sleeve, but it only made it hurt worse.

"Are you alright? I couldn't help but see what happened." someone asked. She lifted her head fast, afraid they'd come back for more fun. She huddled deeper in the shadows. A man appeared, crouching before her. She sniffled loudly. "Can you stand?" He looked worried. The little girl stood up carefully. He noticed the cut on her knee. "Here," he said, holding out a bandage. "This will make it better." She looked up at him and smiled. She wondered why he was being so nice to her. "Do you want me to go get your mommy?" She shook her head hard. She didn't want more trouble with the kids, and she didn't really want to get Ryan in trouble. "Okay. Be good." He ruffled her hair, and left.

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><p>"Excuse me." The kindergartener looked up, disgruntled as she was interrupted from her book.<p>

"What?" She asked, probably a little more viciously than she'd intended. He backed off a bit.

"Sorry if I interrupted you. If you don't mind my asking, what are you reading?" Her blue eyes brightened. She loved being asked this.

"Oh, Harry Potter. It's getting really good." Her face suddenly grew sad. "My favorite character just died, though,"

"You're a little young to be reading such a big book." He inquired. She puffed out her chest proudly

"I'm the only one in my class who's finished the series!" She boasted.

"Well, that's good for you," he said. "Do you read often?" he asked.

"Every day," she beamed. He smiled.

"Well, I was just wondering if you can point me to a Mr. Goven's room?" he asked. She nodded.

"It's just down the hall." she said, pointing to her left.

"Thank you." He said, and disappeared down the hallway.

"Baby?" she looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, Mama?" she asked sweetly.

"Who was that you were talking to?" she asked worriedly.

"Oh, just a guy who wanted to know where Mr. Goven's room was," she said, flipping her hair behind her back.

"Well, it's time to leave now." She cast a nervous glance down the hallway before reaching down to take her daughter's hand.

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><p>"<em>Why?<em>" She was on her knees in the back garden, her face upturned to the sky. The plants made her angry. With a frustrated scream made of all she was worth, she tore the tomatoes out of the ground, flinging them into the air, feeling the satisfaction when they burst at her knees. She laughed evilly, and stumbled to her feet. She brushed the dirt off her hands, and slowly, she opened the fence. She stepped out. The cool air, which usually comforted her, stung her cheeks like a hive of bees. She swatted at the air, and walked briskly down to the edge of her neighborhood. She was met by a soft "quack" and a little white duck came up to her and butted her leg. She reached down and patted it's head. "Hey, Buddy," she said softly to him. "Hey, Crackers." She stood up and took a deep breath. She'd reached the conclusion that there would be nothing worse than to live without her. She began gathering rocks of all sizes and stuffing them into the large pockets of her jacket, into her pants and shoes and socks. She put some down her shirt. She began scaling the large maple tree that stood out over the water until she stood on one of the thickest branches. She leaned dangerously over the side until she was leaning over the water.

"Hey!" A voice interrupted her. "What are you doing? Get down from there, you could hurt yourself!" A man shouted, rushing over to stand under the tree. She looked down at him, a look of thunder on her face.

"Who do you think you are?" She screamed. "Get away from me. I don't need you. I don't even know you." He shook his head.

"I don't know you either," he said, "but I can tell you need help. Just come down from there, and tell me what you need."

"No!" She screeched. "I don't need you! I need _her_!" Her voice broke and she winced, sobbing. He looked sympathetically at her.

"I know how you feel." he said softly.

"You have no idea what I'm feeling. My _mother_ is in there—_dying!_" She screamed.

"But I do know how you feel. It's the niches and bumps that get us through life—that get us where we need to be." She paused a moment. "Just come down. Come down and you can go home. Your father needs you." Slowly, she began to back up and scoot down the tree. When she got to the bottom, she stalked right up to the man.

"I don't know _who_ you think you are." She poked him in the chest threateningly, even though he was about 3 feet taller than her. "But you stay _out_ of my business. You can't tell me what I can't do!" He looked at her sadly. That sent her screaming at him again. She shouted at him, mostly things he couldn't make out through her tears. He sat there calmly the whole time, then he held out a pebble. It was pure white, and smooth, not like the others found around the pond. It fascinated her.

"Here," he said, holding it out to her. "The next time you get mad, squeeze it, and your anger will go away." He said. Shaking hard, she took it from him. "As you get older, it will be more and more important for you to be able to control your anger." She looked away. "Julia." he crouched down. She looked at him in surprise that he would know her name—but she guessed she'd given it away when she was yelling. "Do you love your mother?" She nodded slowly. "If you love something, set it free," he said. "She deserves to be free." He turned and walked toward the road, towards a car sitting parked by the side. As he opened the door, he turned.

"Be good, Julia." and he drove away.

* * *

><p>"Crap!" She shouted, kicking the rubber tire and coughing and waving at the smoke that rose up from the hood of her car. "Brand new car," she mumbled. She sat there for hours when a car with a tinted window pulled up. When the window came down, a man wearing sunglasses was peering through the window.<p>

"Need a ride?" he asked casually. She let out a small, breathy laugh.

"I'm sixteen," she scoffed, waving him away. "I can help myself."

"It doesn't look like it," he said, taking off his sunglasses. "Let me give you a ride." A flicker of recognition hit her, but she couldn't tell where she'd seen this man before. She let out a puff of breath.

"Fine." She growled, and opened the door, hopping in the car, telling him her address.

"Why are you so unhappy?" He asked suddenly.

"Um, in case you hadn't noticed, my _brand new _car just broke down on the side of the road and I have to rely on a total stranger to take me home and face my dad, who is already mad enough at me as it is." She said, turning to look out the window.

"Sounds like you need a vacation." He commented. She nodded. "If you don't mind my asking, why is your dad already mad at you?" He asked.

"Because I'm pregnant." She shut her mouth immediately. Why was she pouring out all her secrets to a total stranger? He tittered.

"Sounds like you're in deep." He said with a whistle. She nodded, laughing slightly.

"Yeah. I am. Ever since my mom died eight years ago, I guess neither of us have been the same."

"Got any brothers or sisters?" he asked.

"Yeah. Three. My brother Willie is twelve. My sister Jill is eight, and Jimmy is two."

"You got a boyfriend?" She nodded.

"He's the best. Even promised to stick around after I have my baby. Be a father, you know, and maybe I can go back to school some day. I want to be a lawyer, like my mom."

"Tell you what," he said. "I know somebody who rents boats. Tell him "_Jacob_ sent you", and he'll let you have one free of charge." She looked surprised. "Take your boyfriend with you. Get away from the stress for a bit. It'll be fun."

"Really? Are you sure? I don't have any money," she added guiltily. He held up his hands.

"No charge. It sounds like you need it." He scribbled something down on a piece of paper. "Just go to this address on Saturday," he tore the paper off a notepad and handed it to her.

"I couldn't-" he held up a hand to stop her.

"It's my pleasure. Go and have fun. Maybe you'll discover something about yourself." They pulled up into her driveway and she opened her door to step out.

"Be good, Julia," he said with a wink.

* * *

><p><strong>"Be good" is kind of like his motto to her. That's why I had Jacob say it several times :p. I got the idea when he said it to Kate when she was little. He says this because after her mom dies, she sort of goes downhill. Sorry if it was cheesy or boring, but I needed to fill in the gaps of her life so you can kind of get a feel for who Julia actually is. I thought I'd put it between a climactic point to keep you reading. Sorry if it disappointed you. ;)<strong>


	9. Lillian Matthew Logan

**The whispers are supposed to be confusing. Sorry if I totally befuddled you. This chapter came out horribly. I got through one page and realized I didn't have enough for a full chapter-that's why this one is so short. I had to fill it with something, and I wanted Julia to kind of have a head start on things. You'll see more of the whispers. They get her through some hard times.**

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><p>CHAPTER NINE: LILLIAN MATTHEW LOGAN<p>

"It's okay, just breath," she could say that all she wanted, but it didn't stop me from freaking out inside.

"It's early, isn't it?" I whimpered. "The baby's going to die, isn't he? My son is going to die." The thought made me more scared than anything ever had in my life.

"You're early by about three weeks. He is _not_ going to die, Julia," she added determinedly. The next few moments went by in a blur of pain and fear—I could hardly tell what was going on, just that I was unable to stand up, or move at all at that. The pain was so bad—I don't think I'd ever felt anything worse in my entire life. Even when I knew my mom was going to die—and then she died in my arms.

I thought nothing could compare with that. But this pain was worse by ten.

This pain...was hell. Hell to the 23rd power. I gasped, and Juliet reached out to take my hand. I thought faintly she made a big mistake, because another jolt of pain shot through me and I squeezed her hand so hard I heard a _crack_! And she pulled away with a cry, rubbing her hand.

"Sorry," I gasped.

"No problem," she growled, backing off a bit. She said something else but I couldn't make it out because the pain was so unbearable, so...real, yet unreal as well. I felt caught between two worlds, the pain on one side, the hope of a new life on the other. I just couldn't wait until it was other. Then someone was screaming, and it was faint...but then midway I realized it was me that was screaming. Then it all stopped. It all went still. My eyes still shut tight—at least I figured they were, because I couldn't see anything. I forced my eyes open. Juliet set something in my arms, and I couldn't help but smile at my tiny baby, snuggling in my arms. It didn't cry—not even once. Not even a whimper. Juliet was laughing and crying at the same time. It really was a strange sight. I don't think I'd ever seen her smile so big. I held it close. "Congratulations," she said. "You have a little girl. You have a daughter, Julia," A daughter. For some reason, I was far from disappointed.

"Lilly," I said. "Lillian. My mother's middle name," I said. "That's her name. Her name is Lillian. Lillian Matthew Logan." Then another jolt of pain hit me like a punch in the stomach, and I almost dropped the baby. I gasped as the pain came again, the same pain, but bigger this time.

"No." Juliet said softly. "No, oh no, oh no no no." She bent down again, taking Lilly from my arms. I cried out a plea, but she ignored me. "There's another." She said. Fear hit me again. _Twins?_ I shook my head.

"No," I shook my head. "The doctors back home said there was only one! It can't be possible!" I shouted.

"Well, it's happening," she pushed her hair behind her ears, and suddenly, I don't think I could bear going through it again. But I did. And there she was, another girl, in my arms.

"I only picked one name," I said quietly. "Matthew for a boy...and Lillian for a girl." I laughed lightly. "But this one's name is Crystal." I said. "Crystal Juliet Logan. After my mother." And maybe, partially, after the Juliet standing before me. Without her, I don't think I could ever have gotten through it. But I didn't voice these thoughts aloud. Crystal was screaming her head off, unlike Lilly. She was so much smaller, and felt more fragile. Suddenly, Juliet plucked her from my arms. I almost screamed in fury. She handed me Lillian instead.

"She's too weak, Julia," she said. "I'm worried about this one. She can hardly breath. She needs medical help. There's a station not far from here that can offer that," she bent down and looked me straight in the eye. "Do you trust me to take your baby, Julia?" The truth was, I didn't trust anyone with my precious daughters. But I shook my head slowly.

"Of course." She nodded firmly, then left me sitting there, alone, with my baby. Unprotected. Completely vulnerable. I tried to stand up, but I couldn't. I could just sit there, terrified the monster should come. Suddenly, almost to confirm my fears, a bush rustled, though there was no wind. I tensed, my arms tightening around my tiny daughter. "Who's there?" I tried to call firmly, but my voice was weak, high-pitched, and cracked when I tried to use it. A voice came from the bush; a woman with an accent I had not heard before.

"What is the baby's name?" She asked. I swallowed hard, fear almost making me choke on my words.

"L-L-Lillian. Lillian Matthew Logan. Her sister is Crystal Juliet Logan." I finally made out.

"Julia," she said. Fear shook me when she said my name. She didn't emerge from the bush. "Is anyone with you?" she asked quietly. I shook my head hard, and she emerged. She was tall, with curly black hair and, to my utter terror, a rifle slung around her shoulder. _Of All the people I could be stuck alone with,_ I thought bitterly. She crouched down and looked me straight in the eye, a look that demanded authority. "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" She asked abruptly. I blinked in confusion. She repeated her question.

"I don't know," I said. She looked sadly at me, then took something out of her pocket. My heart lurched; a smooth white pebble, exactly like the one that man had given me, all those years ago.

"We're looking out for you, Julia," she said. "Never be afraid. We're here for you." And then she was gone. I was shaking in fear. Then this whispers started again, and I thought I was going to scream.

"_Too late, too late, you were much too late,"_ one said in a sing-song voice. "_three weeks early was much too late. The next time Ilana comes calling with the words of the good brother, you must answer 'Ille qui nos omnes servabit,'"_ Confusion befuddled my mind, and I clutched the pebble tighter. "_Ooh, she has the rock," _one said. "_How special."_ it said bitterly. _"Poor little baby made Juliet scared. Oh, how she sits weeping on the step. You should see her." _I tried to cover my ears. I didn't want to hear any more, but they intruded. _"You don't like us, do you, girl? Best get used to us. We speak in riddles, but you'll find we are helpful."_ I let go a bit, but they began to die down. "_Shh! The jungle is moving. The jungle is moving! Stay out! The jungle is moving, go home!" _Then they disappeared. I didn't even want to know what they meant by that, but I had a feeling they were talking about the monster. A crashing in the bracken sent my heart into my throat, but it was not the monster that emerged. It was the boy. He looked down at me with a smirk on his face and I wanted to hit him; he was the one that led me here in the first place. Then he turned and ran away. I thumped my head hard against the rock behind me; I was hallucinating. That was the only reasonable explanation. But when I opened my fist again, a glimmer of white shone through. Someone, or thing, whispered in my ear again.

"_Oh, how you should see Juliet," _it moaned. _"Oh, how she grieves, and not just for Goodwin. Poor Miss Harper lost someone that day. You should see Charlie; oh how he moans, for someone just like you."_ I shook my head hard. I was losing my mind, I thought. _"You should see how he loves her, oh yes, he watched her bleed out into the ground._"

"_Stop!_" I begged. "Please, just stop. I don't want to hear anymore!" There was a cackle of laughter.

"_But you must know of what goes on on the other side. The child's missing puppy, oh how he moans for him," _it sniggered. _"Oh yes, Lucia promised she would get them back to their parents. We all lost someone that day. A couple—separated forever? How sad. How very very sad," _they said. "_I can tell someone will be joining us soon...trapped on the island. Does she know he loves her? She never got to tell him goodbye that night. How can last words be so important? Things were left unsaid that night. The first death, oh the pain she went through. Thought she had it all, didn't she? Now she understands how we feel," _I wasn't sure if they were talking about me or someone else. _"They really care for their kind. Like the brothers used to. The brothers that protect us."_ There were those brothers again. "_How they squabble—married folks should not fight so. Corrupted by greed. Disgusting and dirty. The other couple. The man only cares for her, just doesn't no how to show it. Feeling so cut off...now they know how we feel. Oh, the shape of things to come. We can tell you things, girl, things that are yet to happen. We are the past, the present, and the future. We are the trapped souls." _I shuddered. "_Little baby Charlotte met her love thirty years ago—now, how can this be? Her lover was __a man, she was only three." _Confusion took my mind. _"You'll understand soon when Lilly is three. She'll join the Swan, and then you'll see. Danielle has been lost for fourteen years. Raised by another, only a brief encounter. It will mean the world to her, but it's the last thing she'll see." _The breath caught in my throat. _"'Dead is Dead'. How long has Ricardo stayed? Ask Isabella. How can she still love him? They are separated forever. What Ilana doesn't know won't hurt her. In the end, there will be six. 'Raised by Another' in several cases. First one, then another—all children born to the island will be raised by another. First Jacob, then Alex, then Aaron, then the latter. All babies born on the island will be raised by another."_ This last prophecy sent shivers through me. What was that supposed to mean? 'Jacob' sparked something in me, but I didn't know what it was. Why were they telling me all this? Did it have something to do with the fact I was 'chosen'? I didn't want to be chosen. They could have someone else. All I knew is, I had to get out of here. I scooped my small, now sleeping daughter in my arms, and made my way towards the direction I saw Juliet go. It was not hard to get lost.

* * *

><p><strong>I love the line that said "Little baby Charlotte met her love thirty years ago-now, how can this be? Her lover was a man, she was only three." I didn't realized it rhymed until I'd wrote it. I also noticed that all women who give birth on the island's babies are raised by someone else. Claudia's babies jacob and MIB were raised by the mysterious Mother. Danielle's Alex was raised by Ben. Ethan's mother died in the Dharma raid. Aaron was raised by Kate. So, :SPOILER ALERT: in the second book, I have decided Lilly will be "Raised by Another" as well!<strong>


	10. Crystal Clear

**Sorry, I know my times are off. They should have already taken the kids by now, and Jacob only returns in his youthful form after he dies. I just wanted some mystery. A fanfiction is supposed to be different from the story...right? Now you get to find out what happened to Lilly's sister! Cliffhanger! BTW Julia knows Juliet's a baby doctor. I also don't know if the Others called it the barracks but that's what the 815 people called it and I don't know it by any other name (except Sawyer's 'Othersville'.)**

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><p>CHAPTER TEN: CRYSTAL CLEAR<p>

My eyes flickered open to the trees above, as I recalled them doing just like this my first day here. Movement made me fully awaken. An orange glow was streaming through the trees. How long had I fallen asleep? A little baby was squirming in my arms. It was Lilly. My Lilly...Now I could get a better look at her. She had Mom's bright blonde hair, and Matthew's eyes. They looked just like his, and if I focused on them, I could believe he was really here...I shook my head hard. Matthew was gone, and he wasn't coming back. I got unsteadily to my feet. Now I needed to find Juliet. I began to hear whispers again, but this time I deliberately blocked them out. There was no time for this. Soft cries began to come from Lilly, but I snuggled her closer to me and she stopped, currently just looking wide-eyed with wonder.

"Hello?" I called through the trees. Soft noises came from my left and I turned sharply, terrified someone—Juliet maybe, or even that little boy—was hurt. Holding Lilly with one arm, I brushed away the ferns and undergrowth with another, trying to keep the leaves and other tree crap out of my eyes. I came upon a large, slanted hole in the ground. I gasped in surprised shock. This was the place where I'd woken up in so many weeks ago...

"Juliet." She was sitting with her back against the doors. Alone. Face in her hands, sobbing her eyes out. I sat next to her and put a hand on her back. "Juliet, what happened?"

"She's dead." For a moment I was confused, but then it hit me.

"Who's dead, Juliet?" I croaked. No, it couldn't be true.

"Your daughter. She didn't make it. There was nothing I could do..." she faltered. I held up a hand to stop her. My heart felt like it was made of stone.

"I don't blame you, Juliet, and if I ever hear you blaming yourself..." I growled. "What did you do with her?" I asked.

"I buried her." She answered quietly. Surprisingly, I wasn't mad. I didn't feel anything.

"Where?" She gestured to a spot near the door, where there was a pile of freshly overturned soil. I handed Lilly over to Juliet, and she took her. I walked over to it. I picked up two sticks lying under the trees. I took some twine from my backpack and roped them together to make a rough cross. Then I took a stone lying nearby and carved roughly into one of them, "Crystal Juliet Logan. Let us remember what she could have been." Juliet had stopped crying by now, and was looking at me curiously. I felt hollow, empty inside, and went about these tasks with robot-like motions. I walked over and sat back down next to Juliet and stared at the grave.

"It's a beautiful place. I think she would have liked it." she commented. I nodded slowly. I don't know what she would have liked, and I would never find out. I brushed the dirt out of my hands. I sat staring at the grave in a trance. After a while, Juliet stood up. "I need to get Lilly back to the barracks. She needs food, and warmth." She gave me a look like she expected me to follow. But I didn't move.

"I think I'll stay here for a while," I said. She just shrugged and walked away.

"Take care of yourself, Julie," she said before she left. I didn't even look up when the man that I had seen when I first came out of the jungle came into the clearing. He had his hands in his pockets, and his eyes were sad.

"I'm sorry for your loss." He said softly. I just shrugged and, with a small, bitter laugh, pushed a few strands of hair back from my face.

"You don't even know me. How can you be sorry? For all I know, you're just a figment of my imagination. I'm probably going crazy. I'm probably worse off than Danielle," I said bitterly. He shook his head slowly with a small smile.

"You're not crazy, Julia," he said. Something about the way he said my name sparked some sort of recognition in me, but I couldn't place it. "You're special. You're the only one who can understand the whispers. You can see me,"

"That just makes me believe I'm more crazy, and you're just some sort of apparition. I don't want to be special. And where do I know you from?" I asked, because it was nagging at the back of my brain and I was desperate to put my finger on it. He just shrugged.

"How should I know?" But I could tell he was lying, because he had one of those knowing glints in his eye. A sharp crack sounded in the trees and I whipped around. When I turned back, the man was gone. _That's it,_ I thought. _I'm going insane._

"Julie." Someone said softly. I turned back around. Alex was there, and she held out a hand to help me to my feet. "Juliet sent me to come and get you. Your daughter is beautiful," she added with a smile. "She's sleeping now." Part of me wanted to leave this site forever, but another part of me wanted to be here. I had to face the fact that she wasn't coming back. I gratefully took her hand, and she pulled me to my feet. My whole body ached, and I was so thirsty I could hardly breathe. "Here." She pulled out a canteen of water from her backpack and handed it to me. I took it and gulped almost the whole thing down, and when I looked back at her she was smirking.

"What?" I asked, but she just shook her head. I was hoping that Danielle would come out of the trees right now and take her daughter back; now I wanted more than anything for them to be reunited. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I now knew what it was like to lose a child. But nobody showed up when we made it back to the barracks. "Why?" I asked. She didn't pause from typing in the code.

"Why what?" She asked.

"Why did you tell them I left?" She looked at me like I was crazy. I had the flickering fear I probably was.

"Because it's dangerous out there! And you were pregnant! Why _wouldn't_ I? Julie, all we do is care about you here." She said, shaking her head in a way that made me think otherwise. She was treating me like she was my mother, and it's been so long since someone did that, so I let her. I heard the telltale _wrrr_ sound, and noticed she didn't test it. I took a deep breath, and ran right through. To this day, I still don't know why. I heard three different people say "No!" At the same time, then it seemed like time froze. Then what sounded like a thousand amplifiers started up, sending vibration waves through my body. _Don't follow me_, I willed Alex, who had begun charging toward the barrier. A woman flew out of the bushes and grabbed Alex by the hood of her sweater and pulled her back. Through the vibrations, I couldn't make out her face. I hoped it was Danielle. My body jerked from side to side uncontrollably, and the world was a blur of motion. Then it all stopped. It all went black.

The first thing I noticed was that I was in some kind of infirmary. I hadn't been here before, the whole time I stayed at the barracks. I put a hand to my drastically aching head. There were IVs in my arm, probably giving me liquid. Part of me wanted to yank them out and run, but I knew I couldn't do that.

"Why'd you do it, Julie?" A voice said from behind me. I jerked my head around, pulling my neck in the process. I let out a soft growl.

"What do you want, Ben?" I asked. I knew that voice all too well.

"I want to know why. Why did you try to kill yourself?" But I paused then. I could hear just fine; the annoying part was everything sounded like it was underwater, muffled and rippling through the air. Even echoing a bit. I whimpered.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing, really. Just your hearing can never be repaired to it's normal state. I'm afraid that's how everything's going to sound from now on." My heart lurched, and my hands involuntarily clenched into fists. He noticed. "No need for such violence all the time."

"Well, _Ben,_ sometimes people just can't stand the fact that everyone they love is taken away from them!" I screamed. He walked over to stand in front of me. "I want to see my daughter." I begged. He just looked at me. "I want my daughter!"

"I'm sorry, Julia, but you're daughter's being taken care of back at the Staff." I sat up and took the IVs out of my arm. The machine flat-lined. I hardly noticed. I stormed out of the room, back into the little neighborhood. Everyone was staring at me, but I just stormed into my house. I was pleased to see Angstrom waiting for me on the couch. I couldn't believe it had been less than 24 hours since I'd been here. It seemed like a lifetime. Suddenly, Angstrom's ears pricked up. I heard faint sounds coming from the outside world, and I peeked the door open a bit, because my curtains were drawn and I didn't want anyone looking in. There was some sort of commotion going on outside. Pulling on my boots, I went out to see what was going on. Two men, one I didn't know and the other I recognized as Conner, were carrying two people into the neighborhood. They were struggling, and they had black bags over their heads. I ran out.

"Hey!" I screamed. Their hoods were ripped off and I recognized the faces of two small children, probably less than 13 years old. A girl and a boy. I whirled on Conner. "You kidnapped _children?_" I asked furiously.

"To give them a better life." The other man looked uncomfortable. "They were on the plane! They would never have survived out there!" He added defensively. I crouched down in front of their stricken faces. They looked dirty, and the girl had a gash just above her eye.

"What're your names?" I asked them as motherly as I possibly could. I probably didn't succeed very well, because they shrank away from me. Finally the boy spoke up, trying to look brave, although he was younger than the girl.

"I'm Zach and this is my sister Emma," he said. I turned back to Conner and the man I didn't know.

"Why don't you let them come home with me? I've got hot showers, microwaveable pizza, and a bunny rabbit who's itching for attention," I said, trying out a smile. Emma must have realized I was trying to be friendly, and she relaxed a bit.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," the man said, shifting from foot to foot. "We'd better have Juliet look at the girl first. And Ben should know they're here," he said. Conner nodded gruffly, and grabbed the boy by the arm and started dragging him toward Ben's house.

"Zach!" Emma screamed, and tried to run after him but the other man stopped her. She was crying. "Please don't separate us, please," she begged.

"Your brother will be fine. We're just going to have our doctor look at your cut, okay?" He gestured to her head.

"Ana Lucia was taking care of me just fine!" She screamed, stomping on his foot. He didn't flinch. "We _need_ to stay with Ana Lucia. She promised she would get us back to our parents! They're waiting for us in LA!" My heart gave a little jump. "_Oh yes, Lucia promised she would get them back to their parents" _I couldn't help remembering part of the Whisper's cryptic message. It was slowly unraveling, one verse at a time. I stared her in the eye.

"Don't worry, we'll get you home. But do what he says now, okay? We don't want that cut getting worse." She gave a small nod, but tears still pooled at her eyes. I watched the man lead her away. Then everyone who had gathered spun around, because someone had just emerged from the jungle, mud-splattered and wild-eyed. He had a welt under his eye. He came staggering into the clearing, then collapsed in a heap at our feet.

"Someone get Juliet!" One of them called. He was breathing hard, and his eyes were squeezed shut.

"He's...dead..." He gasped. I bent down to him and touched him lightly.

"Who's dead?" I asked nervously.

"Ethan...Ethan's dead..."

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><p><strong>Yay! I just love cliffhangers. :3 so yeah...Julia takes Ethan's death pretty hard 'cause she was just beginning to like him. Not in that way! He was just nice to her, that's all, and not in that creepy way that he was to Claire. Hmm...I wonder what will happen when she finds out Charlie killed him? <strong>


	11. My Betrayal

**I don't like to cuss in my stories, so if you hear that there was a curse word between one word and another, just fill it in with your mind. ;)**

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><p>CHAPTER ELEVEN: MY BETRAYAL<p>

I gritted my teeth in frustration as I tried to stop the sandwiches from sliding off my plate. I let out a grunt of annoyance as they slid to one side, and I had to lean over precariously to make them slide over to the other. Two guards were standing by the iron-bolted door, and when they saw me with the plate they gave me a look.

"You're not supposed to be bringing them food." One of them said, his eyes narrowing. I took a deep breath; I was prepared for this.

"Ben thinks it's a good idea for them to start talking. I figured if I was nice to them, they'd begin to trust us and maybe spill. Especially on _why the heck_ they had Ben locked up so long," I tried to sound menacing, but I'm not sure if they bought it. One of them looked amused.

"Good luck with that," he joked in return before stepping aside to let me pass. The other one leaned down to my ear.

"Watch out for the guy. He'd shoot you without thinking twice." I nodded in tense acceptance and continued through the door.

Pity rose up in my throat like bile. Here we had been living it up while they fought to survive. It just wasn't fair. I stopped in front of the girl's cage first; why had they put them in the polar bear cages? I shook my head, disgusted with my own people's behavior. They were acting like savages. The girl was sitting with her hands over her face, like she had given up. The man looked like he had some serious anger issues. The woman was thin and wore a dangerously short dress; she had curly dark hair and looked utterly defeated. The man was over in the other cage; he had long, dirty blonde hair and a little bit of a beard. He was pacing back and forth. I felt very sorry for the fish biscuit that was crumbling in his grasp. I cleared my throat and the woman looked up sharply.

"I...I brought you some sandwiches."

"We don't want your sandwiches," the man said with curse between "your" and "sandwiches". I winced, shuffling my feet into the ground.

"A woman named Juliet made them special. She's a great cook," I added, trying to look nice. He gave me a look between his bars.

"Get out of here," he growled, and I almost dropped the plate. Why did he have to be so rude? I felt anger boiling inside of me.

"No need to be so rude," I said.

"Oh, yeah? Why don't you just let us on out then," he drawled. He had a thick southern accent.

"You know I can't do that," I retorted. "I'd be punished. They'd, like, put me on house arrest or something," I pleaded. "Please, just take the sandwiches. You don't have to eat them. Juliet took the time out of her day to make them."

"Why didn't this _Juliet_ drop them off?" He asked suspiciously. I gulped. That was my fault. I'd offered to bring them so Juliet could watch Lilly. A familiar noise made me spin around and I could tell I physically relaxed. Juliet came walking up the path and turned towards the cages, Lilly in her arms, who was screaming her head off. _That's my girl,_ I couldn't help but smile as she set my daughter down in my arms. She was getting pretty big, her blonde hair getting thicker, her stormy gray eyes getting more bright. As soon as she switched hands, she shut up and just looked around in wonderment.

"I don't know what you do," Juliet said in amazement, wiping sweat off her forehead. "But that baby's been crying for you all morning. Do me a favor and never leave me alone with her again, alright?" _Looks like someone inherited a few things from her mother_, I knew Matt would say. I nodded briskly, looking smug at this for reasons I can't explain. I turned back to look at the man and woman who were now looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and astonishment.

"I guess this proves that we have lives too," I said quietly. I don't exactly know what I was trying to prove. "We're not all exactly savages, you know," and the expression on the man's face became something sad as he gazed at my daughter. I wonder if he had a daughter of his own. I turned and walked away. "Eat your sandwiches," I threw back over my shoulder. My words were met with silence.

"So, how did your little escapade out into the jungle go?" Alex asked sarcastically, digging her knife into a mango as we sat side by side on the swing-set. I still couldn't hear well, and I was beginning to take Ben's words to heart. Lilly sat on my knee and I held her out from my body. She wouldn't stop giggling.

"All I know is," I brushed a strand of hair from my face. "That jungle is freaky. You'll never get me to go out there again," I concluded with a bitter laugh. Alex frowned.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Well, first a giant column of black smoke rose up and showed me pictures of my life," she stared at me with a blank expression. I was afraid she would make fun of me. "Whispers began leaving me cryptic messages that are beginning to come true—the only problem is, I don't understand what they mean until they happen. A man keeps coming and then disappearing before my eyes, and a little boy that looks like my brother keeps leading me places where I don't want to go. I-I think I'm going crazy!" I concluded. She just gazed at me intently.

"You're not crazy," she just said quietly. "Far from it. I've seen some pretty weird stuff in there—nothing like what you've seen—but I believe there can be worse things than what I saw."

"What did you see?" I asked quietly.

"A woman," she answered just as quietly. "She had dark curly hair and carried a gun. And she had a funny accent." My heart flipped into my stomach. Danielle! Had Alex possibly met her mother? "She came out of the jungle when you ran into the pylons. She stopped me from running after you. Then she disappeared." She shivered. "She looked pretty young, too—she could only be in her twenties, maybe early thirties." My heart sank. Danielle looked far from young.

"Alex," I whispered, glancing around. "What happened to your mother?" I asked.

"She died when I was born," she glanced down. I could tell she didn't like to talk about it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked. I took a deep breath, and let Juliet's hand on my shoulder comfort me.

"Your plans always work out. I trust you." She nodded firmly.

"Good."

_Everything is going wrong,_ I thought desperately. I watched in horror as Conner held a gun to the man from the cage—who I had come to know as 'Sawyer'-and was threatening to kill him. I knew he was angry at his wife's death, and I knew he had to take it out on someone. I knew because I was the same way. The woman, Kate, was screaming his name and begging him to stop. I could tell she loved him. I watched it in silence as Conner humiliated them. I don't think any of them knew I was there. He left soon, though. But not before handing Kate the talkie. He'd let them go, and I was desperate to know what was exchanged between her and Juliet, and possibly even Ben, although I knew that wasn't possible. Ben was probably sound asleep with no idea what was going on. _This wasn't part of the plan,_ I thought, as I watched them run off into the jungle. I just followed in watchful silence. I had the comforting thought that Lilly was safe at home, back on the other island. I literally felt my heart unclench when I saw Alex emerge from one of her hideaways underground that she built. She is so much like her mother it's scary. I watched in silence as they made their way out after the men with guns had left. I began to approach them.

"Alex!" I whispered. She whirled around, slingshot raised and locked. "Whoa whoa whoa!" I shouted, holding up my hands in front of my face. I'd seen what she could do with that thing; she's killed people before with that. "It's just me." She slowly lowered her weapon.

"Is anyone else with you?" She asked. I shook my head, and she gestured for us to follow.

"Where are we going?" I asked, puzzled. This was the way back towards the Hydra, another station like the Staff. The small island we were on now is called Hydra island.

"We need to get Karl," she said breathlessly. Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about him.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"In a place called Room 23." She said grimly. I'd never heard about that place before, but before I could speak she shoved me into the bushes and went to confront a guard standing in front of a big, rusty metal building. They exchanged a few words before Alex knocked him out with her slingshot. Then they went inside, me following close behind. I felt like a third wheel, like I was just watching a movie or something. Except that the fear was real, not just fear for the characters. I swallowed hard, and made my way inside. We went down a hallway to a door marked "23". She opened the door and her, Sawyer and Kate all cringed, covering their ears. I guess my messed up ears muffled the sound, because it didn't sound that loud to me. They all looked at me like I was crazy. I shrugged.

"What?" I asked, pushing forward to enter the room. I gasped. Karl was strapped to a chair, with weird glasses on facing a wall that flashed with images that read "EVERYTHING CHANGES," and "THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE" and crap like that. This was too weird. I tried to shout over the noise but I don't think anyone heard me. We just undid his straps and bolted.

Outside, we raced through the jungle and made it to the beach, panting and gasping for breath. There was a canoe, waiting just on the shore. Noises were coming from the talkie Conner gave Kate. It sounded like her name; a man's voice.

"Tell it to me, Kate, or HE DIES!" The breath caught in my throat. He must have been talking about Ben, because I heard Tom's voice arguing with someone in the background. Kate was babbling on about some story she'd heard. I didn't catch everything, but suddenly Conner comes around from behind the trees. I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Do we _really_ need more conflict?" I screamed. Conner aimed his gun at Sawyer and started threatening him, but suddenly there was a gunshot, and for a moment I was afraid he'd shot Sawyer. But then Conner became still. He slowly looked down at his stomach in shock, where two bullet holes penetrated his shirt. Then he slowly slumped to the ground. Behind him, to my shock and horror, was Juliet. "Juliet!" I screamed. "Oh, Juliet, you shouldn't have done that," I said, running over to Conner. "They'll kill you now!" She just shook her head furiously.

"Just go," she said urgently, ushering us onto the boat. Sawyer and Kate lifted Karl on, and I turned towards Alex.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked worriedly. She just shook her head sadly. I felt someone grab my arm.

"Come on, Tamale, there's no time for this!" Sawyer shouted while pulling me onto the canoe. I whirled on him furiously.

"_What_ did you call me? My name is Julie," I huffed. He just looked amused, but before he could retort Kate held out a hand to stop him.

"There's no time for this, Sawyer, we have to go," she said, and we pushed off from the shore. I knew by doing this there was no way I could return to my life with the Others. I thought of Angstrom back home...suddenly my heart gave a horrible lurch and I doubled over in shock.

"Wait!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Wait, wait! We have to go back! We have to go back!" I tried to jump into the water but Sawyer held me back.

"It's too late for that now."

"No, Sawyer, she's right," Kate begged from behind. "We can't leave Jack." I struggled out of his grasp.

"TURN THIS BOAT AROUND!" I cursed before boat. "Let me _go!"_ I tried to move, but they just held me down. "Please, please, let me go back," I whispered, crying. Because I knew I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life.

I'd just left my baby behind.


	12. Unwilling Guardian

**Sorry I made Sawyer so mean. He's just in a bad mood. He's like my favorite character so even I felt bad about writing him this way. **

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><p>CHAPTER TWELVE: UNWILLING GUARDIAN<p>

"Nervous?" Kate asked me with a small smile. I nodded wearily in return. I'd gotten over the shock of leaving my daughter behind, and now I just missed her. I wondered what was going on. What had happened to the people we'd left behind. My thoughts were wrong before, because on that ship I'd realized that Juliet had taken Lilly to Hydra Island so she wouldn't be left home alone. I felt my heart clench when I wondered what they'd done to Juliet after I left. Kate wandered closer to me and took my hand, and I felt myself relax a bit. I guess she knew how I felt. She'd left someone behind too. In truth, I _was_ pretty nervous about meeting the rest of the survivors of the plane crash, and how they'd accept me—especially since we'd taken those kids. I noticed Sawyer lagged behind, only glancing up occasionally. Karl walked beside him, not talking since he'd woken up. We stopped in the forest to rest on a log, and Karl went off by himself. I noticed small noises coming from the trees. I guess I wasn't the only one, because Kate gave Sawyer this look and he got up, shaking his head in exasperation before going over to him. Kate and I had an awkward moment of silence together before Sawyer came back; alone. Kate stood up.

"Where's Karl?" She asked.

"I sent the kid home." He said. Kate looked at him like he was crazy, but she just shook her head. I guess she didn't believe arguing with Sawyer would get her anywhere. They seemed to know each other well, but I didn't press. I just gave a small, breathy laugh. They didn't even notice. They seemed locked in a combat of eyes—or...something like that. They must have a history.

"We should...get going..." I said, and they finally broke gaze.

"Yeah, of course," Kate said, pushing her hair back from her face. She slung her pack over one shoulder as she stood up, and we continued on through the jungle. Even Kate seemed nervous; these were her own people. Wouldn't they welcome her back? I didn't mention this allowed, but the curiosity was eating me alive. Did she do something to get her driven out? Kind of like what happened to me? I swallowed the lump in my throat. Maybe these people weren't as friendly as I would have liked to hope. "Just around this corner," she said with a catch in her throat. I stopped, and she turned to look at me.

"Aren't you happy about being able to go back to your people?" I asked.

"Oh, of course. I just haven't seen them in so long it seems..." she trailed off, and I knew how she felt. We rounded the corner, and the sight took my breath away. These people weren't just surviving; they were _living_. Their houses were made from the wreckage of the plane, there was a huge cage-type thing made of tarp that held water. A ping-pong table lay in the center; God knows were that came from. A dog was tied to a tree and people milled about, fishing or eating or just talking. Some people were playing a card game in the corner and there was a ping-pong battle going on with people cheering and such. My heart caught in my throat when I saw what was beyond—a graveyard. There were several graves, but I thought with relief, there were more people. They weren't savages like my people made them out to be; they were just people, unfairly dragged from their life to this crazy place, and they were trying to survive. "There's a golf course just beyond the rise," she said, lifting a hand to block the sun. So far they hadn't ceased to amaze me.

"You comin', Underdog?" Sawyer said sarcastically as he walked past me towards the camp. The truth was, part of me just wanted to run home. But I forced myself to take a step towards everyone. Then another, until I was out in the open. I was surprised to see a number of people running towards Kate and Sawyer and hugging them. The moment seemed to last forever, and I just stood there awkwardly, alone, digging my heels into the ground and folding my arms tight against my chest. I liked this place better than with the Others; if only these people would accept me.

"Who is_ that_?" Said a shorter man with dusty blonde hair who had a British accent. "She's one of them! How could you bring her here?" He shouted. The breath caught in my throat as everyone turned to stare at me in shock. It was all quiet, and the air felt heavy. What had my people done to them to make them hate us so much? I suddenly felt on the defensive. Then something caught my eye. Standing near the man who shouted was a young blonde woman, her hair long and curly. And she carried a baby wrapped in a soft blue blanket, and she was looking quite worried. I suddenly knew what to say.

"I don't know what they did to you," I said quietly, hugging myself tighter. "But I wasn't apart of it. I crashed on this island about five months ago—just like you, except I was on a boat. I was traveling with my boyfriend; and I was six months pregnant." I heard a few gasps, but only one man spoke up; he had dark skin and shoulder-length curly black hair, and he had a foreign accent.

"Where is your boyfriend and you baby now?" He asked suspiciously. I took a deep breath; I knew the only way to gain these people's trust was to tell them everything.

"I got separated from Matthew when I arrived. Later I found him—then he died in my arms." The man turned away from me for a moment. "A woman named Danielle Rousseau found me and cared for me for a while." He looked sharply at me again, as if more interested. I did not doubt he had met her. "Then I was captured and taken to live with what Danielle called 'the Others'. I also don't doubt you've met them," I smiled wryly. "That's where I had my baby. Me and another woman, Juliet, helped care for my daughter. There were two—twins—but one of them died shortly after it was born. Later, several people were kidnapped, and I saw what my people were doing was wrong. I talked to a woman named Juliet, and she convinced me to be in on trying to kill their leader, Ben." The man's fists clenched into tight balls. I could see they'd met before. "But it all started to go wrong. A girl named Alex and I helped these two escape along with her boyfriend Karl, but he left halfway here." I concluded. Everyone was either looking at me or their feet, their expressions a mixture of shame, pity, sympathy, and even some, disbelief. "We're not the savages you think we are. We're just people, trying to survive." No one said anything, and I wondered if I should go on before Kate put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't say another word, but followed her as she led me away towards one of the shelters.

"Until we can get you a place of your own, you can share my tent." She said. She had some extra blankets and she set them up on the opposite wall. "So you can have some privacy," she said when she was finished. "Is there anything you need? Food, water, clothing?" she asked. I was actually faintly surprised at her hospitality.

"Um, yeah, sure...some water would be nice," I said awkwardly, shuffling my feet and looking away. She nodded and left the tent, returning shortly with a full bottle of water. I hadn't had even a sip of anything since this morning. I eagerly grabbed it from her and drank it until it was completely empty. When I finally glanced up, Kate had a smirk on her face. "What?" I growled, but she just shook her head and walked out of the tent. I prepared to follow her, not quite wanting to be left alone just yet. As soon as I stood up I felt dizzy, and my head was hurting slightly. I picked up the bottle; I was still thirsty, and made my way out of the tent. But Kate had gone. I puffed a breath and ran my fingers through my hair. Now what was I going to do? I noticed a Chinese—or was it Korean?-Woman cutting up some fruit in a little storage area they'd made. I walked up to her and cleared my throat. "Uh, excuse me," I asked. She looked up expectantly. "Um...I was just wondering...where I could find water." She smiled a bit, but gestured over to the tarp of water I'd seen earlier. "Oh, thank you," I said.

"No problem," she replied, and continued cutting up her fruit. My headache was growing stronger and suddenly it was so intense...I cried out in pain and fell to the ground on my knees, clutching my head, anything to make it go away...and everything went dark. Everything but the pain.

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><p>When I finally woke, I could tell it was dark outside. There wasn't as much going on as there was earlier, but there was still stuff happening. The headache was still there, but duller. I was lying on the bed Kate'd made for me, and a wet towel was wrapped around my head. I pulled it off, because it was getting cold. I was all alone in the little tent, and I poked my head out almost as soon as Kate came back in.<p>

"What happened?" I asked. She shook her head.

"You were poisoned." I felt my stomach plummet. So not everyone had believed me. "This was why we shouldn't have left Jack behind," she mumbled.

"Was he your doctor?" I asked casually. She nodded slowly, and I could tell it was much more than that. "Am I in danger?" I asked nervously. She sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair just like I do when I'm stressed.

"I don't know," she said. "But you could be." I looked down. Maybe it wasn't so smart for me to leave. I stood up shakily. The headache was starting to fade.

"It was in my water, wasn't it?" I asked. She nodded.

"The funny thing is, I used the same poison once. I guess someone learned a few things." She laughed bitterly at the memory. I couldn't imagine Kate poisoning someone. I guess we all have our faults. "I'll be right back," she said. In a little while I began to hear voices. It was hard to hear because of my ears—they had their perks and pains sometimes. I stuck my head out a little farther and saw Kate shouting at Sawyer and making huge gestures. From what I could tell, they were talking about me. Then I saw Sawyer break away from her, shaking his head hard. He started walking towards me and I sucked in a breath, drawing quickly back inside, hoping he hadn't seen me. He must not have, because he burst into the tent red-faced. Matthew would have liked him, I thought bitterly. He grabbed my upper arm like my dad used to when I got in trouble.

"Hey!" I shouted. "What'd I do?" He didn't answer. Instead, he said,

"Come on Majella, you ain't sleepin' here tonight," he growled, and practically dragged me across the sand.

"I can walk on my own!" I shouted. He didn't listen to me. People were staring, and I didn't like it. He threw me into a tent on the other side of the camp and I fell into the sand. It was a big tent, and he practically fell into a bed I suspected—hoped—was his. "Where do I sleep?" I asked.

"Anywhere away from me," he growled. Slightly, but not completely offended, I set up a small bed on the complete other side of the tent, and curled up in it.

"Um...good night?" I tried. I didn't get an answer back. I sighed. I didn't want to be hated by everyone. So I tried some small talk. Obviously, I'm not good at that. I only made the situation worse. "So...how's Ana Lucia doing?" I asked casually. He gave a small start of surprise, but didn't answer. "Um...why am I here?" I tried. He sat up quickly and I cowered down into my blankets, suddenly very afraid.

"Look, Cheeko," he growled. "I didn't ask for this, okay? Leave me alone. Let me go to sleep. And stop asking me questions!" He shouted. After that I shut up. I wondered what happened to Ana Lucia, and why I was sleeping in Sawyer's tent and not Kate's. I'd detected something in his voice I couldn't place. A sound drifted to me, and I couldn't tell if it was the wind or if it was real.

"_Little Ford doesn't like a girl sleeping in his room,_" said the whispers. "_Everyone gets a new life on the island._" I suddenly got sad, because I recognized what I'd detected in his voice.

It was grief.

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><p>Hmm...I wonder what she'll do when she finds out Charlie was the one who killed Ethan?<p> 


End file.
